A poem Howard wrote when he was able to get on and write.

Howard looked out at the shapes in the sun. The trip was only a short one really, just a few miles to the coastal town of Misterton . A once naval base and a place where he had heard reports of very loose women walking the streets looking for punters. The town had a lot of pretty places and a lot of dark alleys, so you had to be careful what was lurking in the shadows. Many tourists had been mugged in their time here. A sad reminder of what this world had become. The outskirts, many pretty cottages were in rows and showed their beauty, their pretty stone clad walls, the bright freshly laid straw roofs and the many varieties of coloured roses and other species decked the walls or the gardens. These cottages had won several awards for best kept traditional homes and he knew the interiors were just as spectacular as the outsides. A lot like Joey's parents place. It wasn't a cottage; it was a big four, maybe five bedroom house just round the corner of Howard's parents two bed roomed bungalow.

The house had a massive driveway! This day it was full of cars as the memory of Joey lingered on in the form of a wake. Using his powers of memory mixed with imagination, he passed through the wall and into the packed lounge and on to see the many guests helping themselves to the food all laid out on the big dining table. He often wondered if a few only turned up for the food, the way they were tucking into it like pigs in a trough! Others were drinking wine and showing a lack of decency in the eyes of Joey's mother who for reasons understood had protested to her husband about the wine actually being served. After all, hadn't her son been lost to a drunkard! Anger must have welled in her soul as she watched people, certain people, not all, drink and drink again oblivious to the evil looks of one saddened mother.

“Come my dear, they will soon be gone.”

“I told you not to supply alcohol here.”

Mr Masterson looked down at her, “I know dear, yet we have to supply a little for those who are not as strong in matters such as these.” The words were not as up-building as he had liked, then again how can one be up-building when you just wanted the world to swallow you up like a warm duvet cover on a winters night. Then waking to find your son clambering on the bed, just dying to get into his parents bed and share a few moments with his parents. He fought back the urge to cry. Crying was for the weak.

Mrs Masterson's anger faded when she felt her husband tremble and she knew it wouldn't be long until both could be alone and cry without having to hold on for the publics sake. She noted two move without touching the food and also giving a disapproving look at some who were drinking the wine like water. They walked over to her and her husband. A tall masculine man with blue eyes and darkish hair. His wife also had blue eyes and lots of blond hair tied into a pony tail. Her petite figure almost making one jealous, especially as she had like Mrs Mastertson a baby about the same time as she.

“Mr and Mrs Masterson. You have my condolences and our son's. Though Howard doesn‘t really know much of what has happened.”

She looked at the sincerity of this man and his wife. Reaching out she kissed them both and felt to her surprise her husband do the same all except with Mr Muster he took his hand shaking it with appreciation.

“How is Howard?”

It was Howard's mother who looked the most sad, “He is stable. Though the doctors say he will probably never walk properly again. His leg is all pinned up, the circulation has been saved.“

“His back is bad and that it will take time to heal. Howard will always walk as if he is crouching over slightly. The leg will drag a little behind the good one.”

Howard's mother came in with, “Still it is better than we had hoped! The doctors and surgeons have done their best.”

Mr Masterson burst forth with a question, “Are you suing that lady in her manor for damages?”

John Muster took a deep breath, one of the deepest he has ever taken. The time had come to confess, “We will not be taking any further action.”

Shocked looks and raised eyebrows fed their way across which compelled Mrs Muster to add, “We wish to not add any further stress upon the lady of the house. She is on medication.”

“Drugs or not! She should pay for the recklessness that her husband has caused! He was a nuisance and had been caught drink driving before!”

John raised his hands to try and restore order to the feelings which at any moment could explode like lighting a touch paper right by a keg of gunpowder just knowing if you stayed there any longer you'd be blown sky-high! “That being so, we wish not to proceed. We are not short of money and even though Howard may cost more to keep now, we both feel that dragging this woman through the courts will do more harm than good.”

“What about us? We have lost our son, a son who we can never touch, hold and love again! Emotion? You talk about emotion! She will always have her money and rich friends to take care of her on her precious sick bed. What do we have?”

The keg had indeed exploded! And John along with his wife stepped back a big step as the verbal shrapnel hit hard. It was his wife that after clutching hold of his hand let go and reaching out he saw her grab hold tightly of the other woman's hand.

“I understand what you are going through. I lost...” Amelia looked at John, “We lost a little girl. She would have been older than Howard. Emily lived six months before she passed away from complications to the heart. I know the pain you feel. I know how it feels to not be able to touch and hold your loved one again. That is why we know what you are going through and how Mrs Covington feels at loosing her husband. No matter at how the circumstances arose on that fateful day, we feel, John and I feel that the death of her husband is enough for us. Nothing more.”

John added, “What you feel right to do, you do. We just know this decision is right for us. That is all we are saying.” He hadn't realised, yet thinking now it was pretty obvious that the whole room had ground to a halt and like television all were glued, fixated as to what was going to happen next.

“Come on Mary, let's go out into the garden.” Was all that was said as Howard's mother steered the grieving woman through the crowd and out into the warm summer sunshine and off up the end where they could talk.

“Come on, lets get a drink and forget the differences.” John offered. For a second he felt as if he had just lit another touch paper and then as he eyed the man, he seemed to cave in and pull a half smile backed by what looked to be the closest he had come to tears.

“Yes, why not.”

Howard's father grabbed a couple of cans of beer and both men went out the front door to have some therapy of their own. John took him over to look at his Triumph classic motorbike.

 

Howard came too as he saw one similar overtake them and leave them behind on the road to the harbour which held in its arms the boat of his step father.

“Not long now and we'll be on the open sea!” Arnold called from the back as he fought to drown out the noise of that motorcycle.

Chris's eyes watched the bike leave a small trail of fumes as it kicked down to leave them behind. Just like John had left his son. He remembered a night just before Howard came. It was a wet and windy night, a night that no soul should be out in and yet he had taken the old dog along for his evening constitutional. As he walked out and round to the small spinney which led you out into the fields about a mile further down, he let his dog lose.

As the wind made the trees creak Chris thought he heard a whimper. But no, it was another trick of this moody night where occasional breaks in the fast moving clouds allowed the moon to shed it's full beam onto the ground to cast an eerie feeling over this place.

Chris moved along and realised the dog had gone for a longer relieving session than usual. Even though the moon helped a little he flicked the switch on his trusty rubber torch and cast it over by skimming the path directly in front of him he saw nothing. Then he heard that whimper again and froze! Had his dog gotten lost? Moving in the direction of the noise he found the path suddenly split in two. Yet through the tall spindly cow parsely another path had been made. The dog must have made its way through here!

“Digby!” He called feeling stupid at the name of this animal. Yet that is what Beth wanted his name to be and so after the ‘biggest dog in the world' their black Labrador a small boy was born.

“Digby! Here boy!” This time the whimper came forth with more clarity along with the sound of another shower making its way rather noisily through the trees coming towards him! Then the world around him was plunged him into darkness as the moon fell behind the mass black clouds. The torch was all that aided his way through this wet parsley and a rather muddy under footing.

A few steps more and the dog could be seen sitting down next to a big tree and as it saw its master it came running up to him, “Hey boy I called you, why didn't you come?” The dog looked as if it understood him and after a few seconds of fuss it took off back to the tree barking. “What's up boy? Smell something?”

Chris walked to the tree and past round it to see the dog had nestled up to a small dark figure. The figure was hiding under a hood and yet it reached out to touch his animal. Shining the torch towards the figure he asked, “Who are you?”

The person said nothing. Chris felt a little unease wash over him as he stepped to where the person just sat with one small hand reaching out stroking the dog.

“I said who are you?” This time he felt a little anger and whoever it was, was not going to play games here on a dark wet evening! Reaching out he pulled up the hood of the individuals coat and as the beam from the torch found the face, Chris found the name, “Howard!”

The boy looked up, “P, p, p, leee, se. Nottt.... G, g, go, uhing. B, b ,b ck!”

He crouched down. The lad must have been sitting out here for hours. Still the anger had faded. Talking in a low calm voice he asked, “Why?”

“H, h, huh.” The boy seemed distressed and yet angry at not being able to form the words to put into a simple sentence, “H, ur , ts. M, m, m, e, e.”

Chris sighed. Still crouching he reasoned, “It's gonna still hurt you both. Sometimes the pain takes a long time to heal. You both have to work hard at a relationship. Howard just give it another go. I'll have a word with your father. I will promise not to let you guy's down. You both mean a lot to me.” Reaching out a hand he asked, “Please, just give it another go.”

Howard took the hand and with the help of Arnold he found his crutches and moved with them towards the boat which on reflection looked closer to forty feet than twenty!

“Once aboard with the food and booze, we'll set sail for that well known spot!” Howard heard Chris say to Arnold .

The big guy in turn looked at Howard and said, “Come on boy, I'll race you to the boat!” Arnie raised the challenge and both did their best to reach the boarding plank first.

Howard reached it and made his way up knowing full well that even though Arnie was not the fittest man alive with a belly that was gradually expanding to the size of a beach ball, he was only a slow crutch-walking cripple. Sorry! What had the councillor told him, “A slightly disadvantaged man.” Yes! that was the term which he felt just as derogatory.

“B, b, eat. Y, y, y, o, u!” Howard cried with victory!

Arnie pulled a lop-sided smile, “Yeah, one day I'll get the better of you!”

“N, n, no, tttt. W, w, with, t, t, thhhat. Bea, chh. B, b, b, be, ball. Of, ah, b,b, bel,lllyyy!”

“Hey! Don't mock the afflicted!” He shouted back before adding ,“This is my beer baby! It's taken me three years to get it this big and I ain't stopping until it looks like a nine month pregnant woman!” Then he patted the large protruding object with affection.

“Glad to see you have put all the stuff in the right places!” Chris muttered as he looked at all the fishing equipment just lining the deck where his friend had dropped it to pat his stomach.

“Sorry buddy! Just having a little conversation over my baby.”

He ignored the man and began setting out the rods and other fishing bits and pieces and as he looked over he saw Howard staring at the motor cycle which had now turned round and was going out the other way. Then the boy turned on his crutches to look out to sea. Chris knew what he was thinking, “He wasn't running out on you. Your father was never any good at facing up to problems. That's why he never took promotion and why he left your mother after she lost the first child.” He received an angry look masking the sadness of the loss of both parents. Chris decided to add, “Each person has their own way of dealing with problems. Your father always went to sea. That was his way.” He walked over and placed his arm around the lad before they were interrupted.

“Hey! Are you two just going to stand there all day wasting good fishing time?”

Chris turned sharply, “Ah, no!” While Howard shook his head and in so doing shook the cobwebs of dark thoughts away from his mind.

The boat was let loose from its moorings and under the power of a diesel engine it made its way out towards the edge of the harbour and as it emerged from the mouth it came under the influence of the sea. The boat now bucked like a mule against the tide which was firmly opposed to them at this point in time.

“Do you want the sail raised?” Arnie asked as he staggered from the stern of the boat towards Chris who was fighting the wheel.

“Not with this pig of a sea today, I'll play safe and stick to motor power.”

He cocked him an raised eyebrow, “You did remember to fill her up?”

“No, I decided to leave her on empty so we can tack our way home upon the power of the sails!” Came the sarcastic reply. Chris now looked over at Howard, “All the fishing equipment ready?”

“Nneeeaarllly,” Howard replied but to tell the truth he was struggling with the boat rocking like this. He had fallen over twice and now wished that maybe he had waited until Sunday to go out when his body would have sufficiently healed to cope with the stresses.

“I'm on it buddy!” Arnie made his way and helped Howard get the rods prepped and placed onto their stands.

In a short while they had found the spot! In the distance other trawlers were just coming back from a hard nights fishing. The boats rusty looking anchor splashed its way down to the rocky underworld and after a few minutes it had dug its way down and lodged itself to hold the boat steady. The sun was out in force now and Chris was out in force with the sun cream and the hats.

“Better put this on!” He pressed the beanie hat firmly down upon the boy's head and now started to apply the sun cream, while his long time friend was applying his stomach with a beer.

Howard squirmed at the cold white lotion as it slid along his skin. He hated the stuff!

“Stop squirming son! You know it's for your protection.”

“I, I...Kn, kn,owww. I, I. J,usst. Hurate it!”

“Want a beer Howard?” Arnold asked as he thrust an opened can in the young man's direction.

He replied, “No.”

“Oh?” then came the look of puzzlement.

“T, t, t..ab. L,l,letts.”

Chris felt the urge to explain though he probably knew that his friend had already got it. After all he had been told about a million times before! “He's on the stronger medication this morning.”

“Ah! No booze otherwise we'd have you falling over the edge!” Arnold slapped the can into his friends hand and watched as the man took it and placed it down on the deck before casting out for the boy.

That was what had impressed Arnold ! How Chris had taken this lad and made him as his own. He remembered the following day to the night Howard had made his impression on the family. He had rolled in at about eight in the morning. That was the days when Arnie used to work early shifts and had less of a beer belly, he had rang the doorbell and walked in. That was the routine in those days.

“Hi all, it's only me.”

“Who else would it be!” Anne came back with as she eyed the man, “Chris your friend is here for his usual!”

“Tell him to come on through! The bacon is done!” A voice echoed down the hallway from the kitchen.

Anne gave him a frown, “I take it your boots are free of horses dung?”

He smiled still feeling embarrassed from the time when he had finished his delivery and had walked through some horses doing's on the way through the field and had brought a load in and across the carpet it went. Stunk for days after! Even though Mrs Lane had washed the carpet about a dozen times! He'd never live that one down!

“I'll take them off! Even though they are clean!”

“No! Leave them on! I'd rather have the smell of anything on the sole than the smell of you feet!”

He blushed as the lady walked away, remembering the other embarrassing moment when he had forgotten to change his socks and had made a terrible stink while watching football. He hadn't really noticed, as a man living on his own often tries to skimp on the chores like washing ones clothes! So Arnold will try to wear a pair of socks for a week if he can, so as to only have to wash one pair instead of about seven. The same thing was similar in the underwear department. But these days he was a lot more regular in this area. His record for wearing the same pair of pants was about three weeks. A record he was not proud of! He had just lost track of time! Well, that was his excuse.

Moving through the lounge he made it to the family table where one lad was sitting and tucking into breakfast. He had seen the boy and knew his father and yet had little to do with them, except deliver post to their door. He smiled at the boy and the boy looked at him before consuming a large piece of fried egg.

“What's this that lad doing here?”

Anne gave a little grunt before adding, “Say hello to our new lodger!”

Chris slapped a couple of rashers onto a plate before shouting, “Beth! your breakfast is ready!”

“Thanks dad and mum!” Came the reply in the form of a large shout through the ceiling. If one thing was a little embarrassing was the fact that the bathroom was above the kitchen and if it wasn't thanks to the extractor fan working overtime to quell the smell of fried food then you would hear all the wonderful noises that spring from the small tiled room that can cause a little unease on a quiet day.

“Howard is staying with us for a while.”

“A little while?” Came a cold few words and another grunt from Ann.

Of all the many questions welling in his mind like tears to the eyes, only one came forth to his voice and one of the least important ones, “Have you the room?”

Chris frowned as he shot the last of the fried combo onto a spare plate and thrust it in this man's direction, “Sure we have the space. There's the guest room, and the attic room along with the study if necessary. You know that!”

“But, but what I mean is!” Then Arnold lowered his voice as he had found the right and in his view the most important questions here, “Why are you looking after him? Shouldn't it be the father's responsibility?”

Chris shifted with unease that sounded in his reply, “His father has gone away for a while.”

“Try the rest of the boy's life!” Anne shot those words across the room as fast as a bullet from a gun and Arnold felt as if he had been wounded by them.

“He's run away. Left the little feller here with you?”

“Yes.”

They were all taking this very well! Was this the way with families? If it had been him, he would have been in a state of panic by now!

“But, but, you already have a daughter?”

“We've been through this Arnold ! The boy stays here until he is twenty one and then we wave goodbye to him and say hello to a small amount of cash, promised to us by the lads father.”

“Is that legal?” Arnie asked as he reeled from another gun shot of a sentence.

“John's solicitor had drafted it up. We are his legal guardians until he is eighteen, but if he wants his inheritance then he along with ourselves have to work with each other until he is twenty one.”

Arnie placed the plate down suddenly loosing his appetite. “That's eight years of looking after a troublesome disabled boy!”

“Thanks for bringing that up!” Anne shouted all full of sarcasm again.

Chris frowned at Arnold and took a step towards the back door, “May I have a private word with you in the garden?”

Oh no! The last private word ended in a wrestling match over the prize fish they had caught together. Arnold had said to the press that it was his catch when Chris had caught it. They had argued about the fact down the pub and went for a private word only to both end up with black eyes and sore ribs. After which Arnie had realised he had helped his friend catch the big boy. Trouble with being drunk at the time, you forget things. Arnold stepped out into the garden which brimmed full of the early morning birds as they cried out with a cheerful song announcing a beautiful day, which was going to become a little sour in a second or two.

“Okay what is the problem with Howard?”

He looked at his annoyed friend, “No problem! Just that he has been known to be a handful. He is not well and has to take all kinds of medicine. It's just a lot of commitment. I was just concerned for you and your family. It's a lot of commitment and one you have made in just under a night.”

Chris sighed and sat down on one of the four plastic green coloured chairs that sat in a circle around a large plastic table with a folded down floral parasol stuck through the middle of it and weighed down by a concrete base.

“Look I have little choice on this! It had to be a rapid decision. Anne is a little concerned. The only one not affected as far as I can see is my little Beth. She has embraced him as her brother.” He observed Arnold take a seat before he continued after sighing, “This was one of the toughest decisions I have had to make in my life, apart from the one of moving here to aid Ann in helping her aged relative before she passed away. This will be a strain on all of us! Yet what can I do?”

“Put the lad in a home?” It was a suggestion, not a statement as some may have placed his way.

Chris fixed eyes with him, a look that he's never forgotten. This look was one of pity and sadness for a stranger. “I can't let that happen. The boy has been through enough. First his friend, then his mother and last night his father walks out on him for life! What would you do? Have him sent to another home just like that one he was sent to by his father at first?”

The questions were making sense to him. He had not the ability as Chris for putting yourself in someone else's position. May be, being single was a disadvantage. You never quite get the hang of caring for others? May be it was just him? Arnold decided to shake his head in a way as to indicate he had no further suggestions and that he didn't now expect his long term friend to send the boy to a mental institute or some drastic place.

“I am just concerned about you guys taking on too much. You have the shop, a daughter in the puberty stage and now one lad who is about to go through the same thing. A lot of hormones and strife! As well as emotional conflicts.”

Chris frowned, “What are you saying? That my daughter would fall in love with this boy?”

Arnie wanted to step back at the burning anger coming from this man's eyes! He wished he could, if he wasn't already sitting down. “Not so much your daughter, but the boy taking a fancy to your girl. The Florence Nightingale effect, I think they call it.”

Anger faded like the heat from a dying furnace and ashes clouded the glow of the heat of anger from Chris's eyes, “No, I don't think that will ever be the issue. But if it does occur, I will have a word and be ready to sort it out. I know it‘s not going to be a bed of roses. But we‘ve made up our minds and through hell and high water we will make it.” Then he smiled before adding, “Thanks for the warning.”

He smiled and remembered a wave of water wash over his eyes, “I'm just concerned for a good friend and his family. If you are sure you can cope then I can't stop you. All I can say is, I will be here for you all. Including Howard.” He decided to add, “That's what friends are for aren't they?”

Chris smiled, “Thanks buddy. Best get in and have that fried breakfast before it goes all hard on us.”

Walking in Arnold picked up his plate and strolled into the lounge where Elizabeth was at the table eating her breakfast.

“What were you and dad talking about?”

This caught him off guard and a lie issued forth, “About that fish I caught years back!” he shuffled his feet with anger at not being able to tell her the real source of the conversation.

“Oh, I thought you and dad had sorted that out by now.”

“Um, we had, I just forgot that's all!”

She laughed, “Uncle Arn you are so silly!”

He tried to laugh and yet felt it stifled. The truth wrapped round his neck like a noose on the gallows. He just smiled and walked over to the sofa to where the lad sat watching television. Some programme about making cardboard look like a cupboard or something.

“So Howard you are here then?”

The boy just chose to nod.

“Sorry to hear about your father going back to sea.”

“I, I'mmm. N, n, nooott!” The boy said with an air of anger resonating in his voice like an echo of thunder over the hills at night.

Arnie swallowed the semi cold sausage hard. There was no love lost here! “What are you going to do today?” He asked changing the subject.

The boy just shrugged his shoulders. Beth came to the rescue.

“We are going to unpack Howard's' clothes and possessions and put them in his room. Later we will go for a walk with the dog.”

“Oh.” Arnold sighed trying to find some topic of conversation before making an offer, “Well, if you ever want to come fishing or just want to come round for a chat or something, you are more than welcome Howard.”

The boy pulled a strained smile. Maybe he had had those types of offers before and all had been forgotten when he had gone forth to collect them.

Getting up again Arnold stuffed a piece of bacon in his mouth and after swallowing he said, “I mean what I say. You are more than welcome!” He now was just about to walk into the kitchen when he was faced by his friend who smiled.

“Thanks! I'm sure he will take you up on the offer as soon as he is settled.”

 

Now as Arnold cast out a hook and bate into the sea he watched Chris help the boy to do the same, “Hey guys! Want me to go down below and get the old bacon sandwiches on the go?”

Howard was a lot different to those days, he smiled and nodded eagerly. Chris smiled and after making sure the line was well into the sea as he let Howard take over he replied, “You sure? I can always do that.”

“No, no. You guys just catch that big one for me.”

“As long as you don't take all the credit when we get back home!”

“Hey! How many times do I have to say sorry for that error!” He joked. This was a standing joke now and one that had kept their friendship always alive and kicking. Arnold wandered below and reflected on the many times he had seen Chris take Howard into his arms as if one of his own. He had always treated the two kids as equal and had somehow maintained the balance as well as a type rope walker. He smiled again as he made it to the small stove and lit the gas burner.

 

A CHANGE IN CIRCUMSTANCES.

 

 

The sun had risen high into the sky and another quiet day was in progress. Elizabeth fitted the cakes into the special chilled cabinet. She hoped they would sell all the cream cakes today. She had learned to hate cream after having to eat every night the ones that would go off tomorrow. It had reaped havoc on her face with those acne days of her early teens. Her thought of acne was dispersed when a voice entered into her mind.

“Bit cold today, maybe you should have the heating on!”

“Good morning Mrs Patterson! How are we today?” A wrong question to ask this woman with a thousand and one illnesses!

“Oh, not too well. Up all night with severe back ache! My glands are up and I reckon I will have the flu by tomorrow. That along with my other ailments makes life really hard to bare. Still, must not grumble. How are you?”

“Fine!” She replied and kicked herself, for this would be looked on as a lie. To Mrs Patterson, everyone had to have at least one thing wrong with them.

“I see!” The lady narrowed her eyes suspecting the lie.

“Apart.” Beth added

“Apart from what?” The eyes widened with attention from the pupils focussed squarely upon this young lady.

“I woke up with a little sniff, could be hay fever?”

Mrs Patterson smiled a broad smile before nodding in understanding, “Oh yes that curse of modern day society! Everyone has hay fever these days. Blame the pollution. Keep taking the sprays dear, they help a lot. Trust me! I've had hay fever ever since I can remember!”

The lady rattled on about other problems including a suspicion of cancer that the doctor's were keeping from her because it was an incurable type that would send her to her grave. Beth nodded while allowing herself to be distracted by the sound of a motorcycle roaring its way to park outside by the left window. The man got off and walked into the shop. He was dressed in the proper leathers, a bright blue and yellow colour which matched the bike. Must have cost a fortune! The man took his helmet off and from beneath the mask his face was revealed! Tall thin build and a face with glowed warmth. He walked slowly round and after ascertaining the nature of this joint he walked over and stood behind Mrs Patterson who had moved onto the black plague by now. Ignoring the woman she looked at the man.

“Can I help?”

“Oh,” he smiled before adding, “I just wondered if anyone was over in the post office section.” Then raising his hand he showed that he had reached into his leathers to produce a cheque book. “Just wondered if they could cash me a cheque as there isn't any cash machines around here.”

When he smiled his blue eyes lit up and made his whole frame seem broader. His blonde hair shone like silk and his teeth were white, very white. Was he an actor? Her heart raced a little. Was this a kind of love at first sight? Don't be silly! Bet he's married already! She reasoned and before she replied Beth noted that Mrs Patterson was frowning, probably ascertaining why she had been rudely interrupted.

“Yes, my mother is over in the back. Just ring the bell and she will be pleased to assist you!”

“Just ring the bell?”

“Yes!”

“Thank you!” He replied and half turned before peering back, “Thank you Miss?”

“ Miss Lane , Elizabeth Lane.”

“Thank you once more for you assistance Miss Lane .” He smiled and walked slowly over the other side to the dark hole where her mother was probably watching.

“Well of all the nerve! How rude!”

“Sorry Mrs Patterson.”

“Not you. Him!” She thumbed to the cycle man.

Beth felt she had to defend the stranger, “Oh no. If he had been rude he would have just whistled or shouted, ‘Eh love! Where's the service?'” Then smiling in a wishful, dreamy way she added, “But he is a gentleman. It was my fault I asked him first.” Then she came back to earth, “The rudeness was all mine Mrs Patterson. I am sorry. What do you require?”

The small shopping list was whisked off and as Beth prepared the meat by slicing it, she watched the tall mysterious figure.

“What can I do you for?” Mrs Lane asked from the darkness of her hole. If he jumped he didn't show it.

“I was wondering if you would cash a cheque for me?”

She approached, “Have you got a current cheque guarantee card?”

“Yes.” He pulled it out and with the cheque and placed both into the small hole that flipped to send the contents into the hands of the woman.

Anne took note of the mid toned voice and noted that it was calm, clear and steady. Most who would pull a fast one would have a slight flutter in the voice. Still she would ring through to the bank and get their approval that this guy is not a phoney. “Don't mind if I call up your bank do you?”

He smiled, “If that will get me the cash I require. Certainly!”

Anne took the card and cheque and placed it by the phone. As she dialled the number she noted this man's name, “Scot. What's the 'P' for?”

“Peter.” He shouted through the glass, “My name is Peter John Scot.”

Anne was the nosey kind, “On holiday?”

“No. Just moved here. Looking for a place to buy and probably settle down. Know any good places?”

She didn't reply for the bank had answered.

 

“There you go Mrs Patterson. Have a nice day now!”

“Nice huh? Not with my problems. Be glad when I'm dead!”

Beth wanted to laugh at the lady and just managed to hold onto her grin from moving up into hysterics. The lady was so funny with her hypochondria!

She looked over an noted that cash was being handed out and quite a lot of it!

“Thanks for doing that!” He added with a smile and received a muted one back. Pete wondered if her daughter would turn out the same way? “So, any good places to stay?”

“The public house down the road puts people up. Otherwise there is the town five to seven miles down the road.”

“The one with the harbour? I passed that a few hours back. Looked a bit seedy down by the water front.”

There was a definite smile now, “How right you are! The prostitutes hang out. Few hoar houses owned by the dodgy. A favourite hangout for young sailors and other good for nothing types.”

“I think I will try the pub down the road. Thanks again for the cheque cashing! Would have been stuck without your help!” Peter pulled one of his smiles that he had been told were of the charming type while flashing those blue eyes. This time he got a true smile back.

“A pleasure. Perhaps we will see you again?”

He looked over to the far side and realised that the girl, Elizabeth had moved closer and was tidying the toilet rolls just behind him, “I'm sure you will!” He pulled an even bigger smile in the beautiful young lady's direction. She was a goddess in looks. A woman he would find hard to ignore and a string from his heart wrapped itself around this shop.

“Thank you ladies. You have been most kind. I'm sure I will be coming back.” He nodded to them both and walked slowly out of the door. Placing his helmet on and sitting on his bike, he reversed the bike back and started it up. Waving to the ladies through the window he pulled slowly away. Once on the road he opened it up a little and headed back up to the public house in search of a place to rest his well travelled body.

 

“Nice man don't you think mum?” Beth asked as she walked up to the booth.

“Seemed nice. Not many nice men around these days.”

She leaned close to the glass to take a look at this man's cheque to find it had been put away. A wave of disappointment wafted over her. Until she caught a look from her mother's eye.

“His name is Peter John Scot. Scot with a single ‘T'. And yes he is single and looking for a place to stay.”

Beth tried to play this casual, though obviously by the way she had been smiling at the guy had given the game away. After all her heart was still skipping around even after the man had gone! Just thinking of him did this, “Did he say where?”

“Probably the pub just down the road. I managed to talk him out of the town.”

“Might see him in here again then?”

“I'd say definitely one hundred percent. Because I know something you don't!” Anne grinned and wanted to draw her daughter out.

“What do you know?” Beth asked moving closer to the glass partition.

“That there is something that is very close to him here. Something that will make him come back.” Anne moved away wanting her daughter to be completely sucked in.

“What?” Beth was caught.

Walking round the back and out through the side door to her daughter Ann continued the game, “Something very pretty that he will find he can't do without.”

“Mother!” Beth cried as she found herself going red caught in the trap! “He doesn't like me that much. I don't even know the man!”

Her mother half grinned, “Who said it had anything to do with you? He left his cheque card behind!”

Beth swallowed hard and wanted to slap her mum for that cruel lead on, before she could her mother reached over and gave her the card before hugging her daughter.

“A mother can always tell my dear. After all I met your father in a similar way and no matter how old or young you are, love can get hold of you and whisk you away on a roller-coaster ride.” Anne made her free arm rise and dip like a roller-coaster before advising, “All I ask is be careful. He may not be the one. As my mother once said, there are plenty more fish in the sea and your father wasn't my first love, about the tenth I think.”

Beth turned in her mother's arms to face her, “I'll be careful. You have taught me well mum and I have no plans to marry yet. I have my whole life ahead of me.”

“You sound just like me when I was your age. Just three short years on and I was all tied up with your father. A mistake that I could never regret. He's a good man!” Then she sighed, “Sometimes too good for his own good.” She hugged her daughter a little more before having to let her go as another customer had just made his way towards the coffee bar.

 

Rosie Wells hadn't changed much over the years, she still had that sparkle in her dark brown eyes and her corn fed hair still shone like in those hair spray adverts, though a little more rounded out than in the old days. She was still as fit as a fiddle not that that Mrs Patterson would believe her even if she got down and did fifty press ups. Rosie put the cap back on the bottle of sherry and placed it back upon the shelf. Now placing the filled small glass onto a tray she walked past the usual hangers-on round the bar and moved through to the non smoking area where the lady of ailments sat reading a magazine called, ‘Your Good health'.

“Your sherry Mrs Patterson!” She boomed with that farmers wife voice she so loved to put on in the presence of patrons.

“For medicinal purposes only you know!” Came the reply as the beady eyes of the woman narrowed as if this look would add weight to Rosie's belief that Mrs Patterson was really a teetotaller!

“Want this one on your account?”

The woman smiled, “Yes, I'll settle up at the beginning of the week as always!” Then taking a sip she added, “Eases the pain!”

“I bet it does.” Rosie muttered to herself and was just about to turn away when through the back door came a bright colour of blue. Too bright for a dark dingy public house.

As the man walked by Mrs Patterson added, “He was in the shop. Rude feller! Barged in asking if there was anyone to help at the post office counter.”

“Oh.” Was all that came out. Rosie followed the tall man through to the bar area where her husband be.

Her large beer bellied husband now going grey round the edges and loosing the old hair on top had pounced on this stranger.

“Yes Sir, what can I get you?”

The young man who had the bluest of eyes and a warm friendly smile looked at the rows upon rows of drinks and decided on, “Do you have a coke?”

“Ah, yes. In bottles. Do you want ice with that?”

“Yes. If that is alright with you?”

“Heck buddy! If you want ice, I have ice!”

Peter John Scot watched this round man break the cap off a bottle and pour with experience the cola into the glass at an angle so as to decrease the probability of creating a mass back log of bubbles. If it had been a beer then it would have been froth. He looked at the haze that often frequented the smokers side of the pub. Still it was well kept. Though he feared that at one time the ceiling had been pure white instead of a wave of yellowish brown swirls. Still the owners seemed to be pleasant enough, a far cry from the cities he had been in and other places where people lived on top of each other.

“One coke. Anything else?”

“Do you have any food going?”

“Sorry.” He half smiled in apology, “We don't serve food till the evening. We let the shop down the road handle that side. Don't like to compete.”

This man was as honest as the first light of day, “You mean the..” he had to search for that name and his heart had no trouble getting his brain to engage in finding the name, “The Lane's country store.”

“Yes.”

Rosie joined them and had been ear wigging the conversation, “Do you know them?”

He hadn't noticed the barmaid come up and must have startled a little. “ Ur , yes. Well only just now. I met Mrs Lane and her charming daughter Elizabeth.”

“Nice family aren't they?”

Peter nodded readily before taking a sip of this warm coke. The ice had done little to cool it down. “They suggested that you good people might have a room for me to lay my head in for a few days. Is that so?” He asked with hope emanating from his vocal chords.

The hope was reciprocated, “Sure we have a room!”

Rosie looked at her husband and felt she had to add, “It's above this side of the house and therefore gets a little noisy in the evenings and you get the smell of smoke permeating through the floor boards.”

This was chicken feed to other places, “Oh, not a problem. I've been in far, far worse places!”

“What's your name?” Rosie came out with and received a look from her husband which read, steady on love! He's only just come through the door!

Pete didn't batter an eyelid, just replied, “Peter Scot of no fixed abode. In fact I'm looking to move down to this area.”

“And do what?”

This time it was Rosie who exchanged the look of, “Hey what about giving the guy a little privacy here!”

Pete felt as if this was going to be like the Spanish Inquisition and thought long and hard before answering. Then he felt that they were only in a way protecting their establishment by gaining a little information, “To retire in peace.”

“Retire!” Jack Wells exclaimed before adding, “You one of those multi-millionaires?”

Rosie definitely felt her husband had stepped over the mark here and gave him a dig in the ribs! That was the intended purpose, she only found a bit of flab in the way. “Jack! Give the man a break here!”

He looked hurt, a reflection of guilt had crossed his face, “Sorry. None of my business!”

“As a matter of fact, I have made my money. Not by hard work or sweat. I inherited it, off my great aunt. She was so well off that she had enough to divide it three ways. Myself, my mother and my estranged father who went a little more estranged after finding out he was not the sole beneficiary of the money.”

“Why aren't you with your mother?”

From chastisement over being nosey, this woman now had the edge on her husband! He smiled a pained smile, “She sadly passed away.”

Rosie lived up to her name by going a little red with embarrassment over the awkward silence that fell after this statement. She watched him take another sip of his drink, “I'm sorry to hear that.”

Jack corrected, “We are sorry to hear that.”

“I'll get the key and show you round the room while my husband gets you to register in the book.” Then just before she went to collect the key she asked, “How will you be paying?”

The man smiled before pulling out a wallet brimming with money, “Will cash up front be okay? Or would you prefer a cheque?” It was then he realised something. He had his credit cards and yet there was a space. The bonehead had left his cheque card with the shop down the road. Still as he smiled Pete felt a smile of satisfaction wash over him like warm hot bath water covering his body on a winters night. The feeling of contentment that he would have to go back and see the single ray of sunshine he had at this time in his upside-down life.

“Cash will be fine!” Jack came in with as eagerly as a blood hound on the trail of a murderer.

“Good! Just tell me how much!” Pete heard the figure and began to count out the money.

 

A tiny jerk was preceded by another, before the reel came to life and was spinning fast shedding its line as if in rapid desperation to discard its load.

“We've got a big one here!” Arnold Riverman shouted as he watched Howard reach out rather awkwardly and take the rod using the brake to slow the reel down and now as the reel slowed to a halt he began to reverse the trend by winding the line back in. To Arnold that was amazing! This boy was weak in many areas, but his arms and hands held great power. If it hadn't been for that twist of fate then he believed this boy, this young man could have been as strong as an ox!

Chris left the lines on the other side of the boat and danced round a few bate boxes and a few free rolling empty beer cans to come over to his buddy's side. “Sure is a big one! Think you can handle it my boy?”

Howard felt the strain on his body and if it had been a good day then he would have been as stubborn as a mule and let no one near this catch. But today, “I, i...Neeeed, h,h, eeel, pppp!”

That was all it took for both of them to jump forward. Chris took over the rod from the lad's hands and as he stood by the boat just trying to not fall overboard, Arnold took Howard out of the seat he had been resting in until the reel had come violently to life.

Chris wound up the reel while pulling on the line. This sucker was a fighter! He hoped the line wouldn't snap. This one was for Howard.

“Come on big boy land that sucker!”

“I'm doing the best I can. It's not easy!” Chris protested with a lot of strain in his voice.

“Let me do it. I'm used to heavy loads.”

“L, llikke, c, c, aah... ryiiing. Rou, nnd... y, y, , you, rrr. B, b,, er.. elllyyy!”

“Yeah like carrying round my belly!” Arnold replied before what Howard had said sunk in. “Hey! I meant carrying round post and parcels you cheeky young scallywag!”

Howard grinned while feeling a little guilty at the cheeky remark, or was it that pain shooting through his back again? Either way he now watched a little debate ensue.

“You are brining it in like a girl!”

“It's a big one.”

“Give it here girl! I'll have it in in a jiffy.”

“If you would stop fussing like a woman, I will have it in a lot quicker.”

“Yeah right! At this rate you'll still be pulling it in at midnight!”

“If you don't shut up! I'll have you in the water and leave you out here all night!”

“You and who's army?”

Chris pulled on the rod once again and wished he was pulling or should he say hardening his grip round that guys neck! “I don't need an army to take on a drunk and his one fat, flabby, overweight sweaty beer belly, balloon looking body!”

“Is that so?” Arnie shouted back!

Howard wondered how many other boats about were picking up the argument as sound travelled more quickly over water!

“Yeah! When you run you look like one big jelly wobbling on a plate!”

He had to give Chris this one, he was winning this argument and the battle with the fish which while those two were shouting had surfaced and gee! it was a big one!

“Well least I ain't got legs that look like those twiglet crisp savoury food snack things!”

“Yeah, well least I don't get mistaken for a beach ball down the sea front in summer time and get little kids trying to.... Wow look at the size of that thing!”

All attention was now drawn towards the large fish hanging and flipping around in mid-air. All arguments gone. The team was back and Arnold had got hold of the line with a pair of rigger gloves and both he and Chris pulled the still fighting fish aboard.

The thing must have been a good metre long and Howard who had no trouble whistling did just so before adding, “B, b, igg!”

“Yes! A good metre and a bit.” Chris almost whispered.

“Gonna take a lot of gutting!” Arnie said.

It was then Howard made his decision as the fish gave up the fight and eyed them all knowing that his time had run out. “ I. ” he took a deep breath as he did often between sentences. It always took a long time to say just so few words. “T, thh, ink. H, h, he. Shhh, oould. G, g, go. Bbbbbaaaacck.”

“Put him back why?” Arnold frowned. This was one beast that deserved to be shown to the public. He now shifted his argumentative side towards the boy, “This will get us all in the local papers! And you want to throw that away?”

Howard eyed Armold in a similar manner as the fish before adding, “He, d, de, dees, errves.... T, t, t, tero. L, lllliiive.”

Chris got the point, “Just think, this fish has been swimming around for years avoiding all forms of fishermen's nets. We just got lucky. If Howard wants this beast.” He eyed the big animal, “To go back and live a little longer than I am not the man to stop this. It's his catch Arnie.”

Without another word Arnold knelt on the fish and unhooked it from the line. He motioned for Chris to get the large net which often brought far smaller fish than this aboard. Fighting with the thing to get it in they both worked as a team to place the beast back into the water and as it slipped away into the sea Howard swore the fish came to the surface just one more time as if to say thank you for letting it live. He has often thought these creatures were far more intelligent than man gave them credit for. Not just fish, but all life on this planet. He smiled to himself and felt he'd done his good deed for the day like he had when he was a cub scout.

 

Memories flashed before his mind of he and Joey making a vow before their leader who's name began with Arc, something and ended in a ‘lor.' It seemed years ago now and he supposed it was a good ten! He remembered his mum teaching him the vows and having a laughing fit over the promise, “To do my duty to God and the Queen!” Boy had he been told off for that one! Still he and Joey that day had almost laughed at each other when the word duty came up. Toilet humour always the life and soul of most young lads jokes. Still they had got through it and received their toggles to go into the blue toggle group. Another team with a name, which he couldn't remember. All he can remember was, ‘Bob a job week!' Where he and Joey had to do good deeds all week and raise money for something or other. Howard could imagine that a real boy scout would be shouting out at him now if he read his thoughts on how poorly he could remember vital names which were the key to cubs and the older boys version, the scouts. Still he remembered the sunny week they went out round the village washing cars with washing up liquid and getting very wet. He remembered laughing at Joey when the lad managed to somehow throw a bucket of water over himself. He had obviously forgot to hold the bottom of the bucket and in so doing, throwing the bucket forward it just swung back on the handle and drenched the poor fellow!

Howard chuckled to himself before remembering that just a few weeks after, the boy was dead. The frozen look of his friends open eyes as he lay dead made him think of the fish just a short while back and now he could see Joey's face. Even after all this time he still wanted to cry. No he never cried! Tragedy was part of this life and crying didn't solve anything.

 

“Hello my boy!” His mother reached over and gave him a kiss. Placing his favourite magazine down on the side table by his hospital bed, she sat down in one of the chairs provided. Howard was glad she didn't sit on the bed as his body was in pain even though the drugs he was on were meant to stop all that. Maybe they were wearing off? He didn't know the last time he had been given some.

“How's the therapy going?” Amelia asked with a little waver of emotion slipping through her voice to show she still hurt over all of this.

He remembered smiling at her and trying to say something like, “Doing b, b, better now than, thank you!” He had in those days developed a stutter after he had been able to speak again, something physiological.

His mother smiled, “Hey! Your voice is coming on well, only a little stutter now!” She reached over and gave him another kiss before adding ,“The physiotherapist told me you can come home soon. Just another week or so of training and he thinks you'll be able to come home in the wheel chair. Your father has paid out for a few modifications to your room and has brought you some other goodies!” She rubbed his right hand and he felt the warmth of love from her body reaching out and heating his cold soul.

“Where is, d, d, dadd?”

A pained look washed over her body, “Oh, he's gone back to work. Something about needing him there.”

Howard later found out that he had done something far worse than going back to work. He had told her that he couldn't handle all of the emotional problems and watching his son grow up as a cripple. He had left and was living near the oil rig in the northern most part of Scotland . In a small house by himself. Thanks Dad!

“Dad is pleased with your progress! He says that when you are better he will give you a ride on his motorcycle. That's a promise!”

“Howww arrre, t, the Maaastersonnns?”

Another pained expression wafted over her face, “Oh, they are moving away. It looks as if they have settled out of court over compensation from Lady Covington.”

Even at his young age he could know a look on someone's face of when there was something more to this issue here, then it came out.

“Lady Covington has expressed a wish to see you on many occasions. I felt it better not to.”

“I, I. D, d, don't want to, to see her!” He almost shouted. Howard remembered he had taken a rather sour outlook at the Lady of the manor for allowing her husband to go out and get drunk nearly everyday. If she had put her foot down and stopped him, then Joey would still be alive today and he would be living a normal life, not dragging a ball and chain of a duff leg behind him along with a slight twist in the back and other pains that will haunt him to his grave.

She clapped both hands together like a person would when trying to restore heat into the hands after being stood in the winter cold for a while. Maybe this talk of the dead had made her cold. Death had always been a cold subject as tragedy had always followed this family and obscured happiness from their eyes like a shroud. “Come on! Get up and I'll take you for a walk round the hospital and I'll buy you a drink from the machine. We can drink them in the autumn sun out in the garden!”

Howard complied, he didn't like to see his mother upset. He remembered moving slowly out of bed and dragging himself along with the help of the ward nurse to the wheelchair. He felt exhausted at this point in time and was glad he could just sit down and get wheeled along. The wards looked the same and the coffee machine spewed out it's innards to expel two mangy cups of so called top quality freeze dried caffeine free coffee. Maybe it was the hardness of the water in this region that tainted the drink, or had some spillage from a local factory got into the water cycle again? Either way this drink tasted as if he was sucking neat mercury through his lips and down into his stomach.

The garden was a sight! Autumn was here. The trees had turned a golden brown colour with a few reds to match the fiery sky that seemed to be warning everyone that the coldness of winter was coming. He felt it in the air. The wind had changed from the south to a north easterly and it bit at his face. Yet when his mother moved him round into the sun and found a little sun trap, the coldness was gone and the warmth of the sun touched his body like a heated blanket.

“What a beautiful day this is! I always love autumn with its colours and its freshness. Summer is always too hot a stuffy and winter is often too cold. Yet in autumn, you still get some of the colours of summer, along with the beautiful warm reddish colours! That's why your father and I got married in autumn, because he knew I loved it so much.”

Howard watched his mother drink in this day and now he had more time and appreciation for autumn. For Howard had always thought of it as a signal for winter and the cold barrenness it gave out over the village, of days of greyness and looks of sadness on the eyes of the people. Spring he loved! The variation of plant life which came out of the ground as if the whole place was announcing that summer was on the way and all were to be cheerful once again! Summer meant school breaks and holidays! A few weeks away at the seaside and then back to spend time with Joey! Summer would now, never be the same again.

Not many words were shared that afternoon as around half past four the sun faded behind the tall trees and coldness set in. He recalled his mother's sad face as the perfect afternoon had slipped away, only to become a memory and how she almost cried when leaving him. He knew how she felt; it to him was like a helium filled balloon in a child's hands. The balloon represented the day he spent with his mother, while living that moment in time he held tightly to it. Then when the sun faded and his mother walked away, it was like the child letting go of the balloon and watching, helpless, knowing he couldn't keep it from sailing away. Now those memories were sailing away as he got older and soon like the balloon, they would be out of sight. Howard had felt the urge to cry like his mother had. Then as you now know. He never cried.

 

The golden autumnal sun setting down,

How it spreads shadows all around,

A shadow of how life was.

Before the darkness of winter shed its frown,

To cast doubts of summer all around,

To place a bleak spell on all who frown.

Winter likes to cast doubts on the blind,

Making all go out of their minds.

Mind over matter is needed here,

To remember summers of good cheer.

The long golden days walking in the fields,

The children playing upon the hills!

The streams from waters of life,

A far cry from any winter's strife.

Hold onto the memory as hard as you can!

Wrap up warm block the cold of the dammed,

To carry us through winters dread,

With only thoughts of autumns leaves of red.

Soon spring will announce summers arrival once more,

And my dear mother you will again stand tall.

You will dance in the sun with your boy once more!

Like those warm nights at the summer ball!

Oh summer's days please never leave our souls!

Do not linger on memories of colds,

So we can remind ourselves of good times!

Times that can never be replaced by fading minds.

My dear mother I will await at this place,

Just wishing for you to shine your love upon my face.

 

(For Mum. H. Muster.)

 

 

His mother's smile landed on his memory as the ship turned about and under the power of sail it sped along at some lick!

“Howard, son. Best put your hat on! The sun is getting real hot now. Don't want you getting sun burnt!” He heard the power of reason and picked up his cap and placed it on. Now he sat at the bow looking at the waves as they threatened to come up and over the front to drench him with salt water. It was funny! The spray he felt and then as the water evaporated on the skin of his arms they felt the rough sea salt as the crystals scratched the surface of his skin. He'd have to have a shower when he got in. Another process of slow moving was that! Taking his clothes off. The performing of the simple task of lifting his good leg up and onto the shower base, before lifting the painful one up and into the shower. Then leaning up against the cold tiles and reaching up while feeling the twist in his back fight for every stretch of a few millimetres before he was able to hit the shower unit into the ‘on' position. He'd quite often have to wait for a few minutes before getting the desired heat and once under and committed he'd have to lump it if it was a little on the cold side, or the other way. Sometimes he had been scuttled when Beth or someone else had forgot he was in there and used a cold or hot water tap elsewhere. For either way it got very hot or very cold! Most people could just jump out of there! Howard had to move to one side and feel the splashes of water hit his body and either burn his feet or freeze them! Still, how were the others supposed to remember? Human failings in the memory department. He'd done it to Chris once and had the displeasure of hearing a few swear words.

The boat headed back to the harbour with its catch a lot lighter than earlier. One large fish was free and swimming around enjoying life once more. Though Howard knew that Arnold had found it hard to swallow the loss and was doing his best to forget by swallowing down the last remains of beer in his can.

“What are you guys doing the salvo?”

Chris's face dropped a little before adding weight to his expression, “Back to work. I promised my love of my life I'd be in for the afternoon.”

“How about you Howard?”

He could see that the man wanted to not be alone for the duration of the good day. “G, goo. H, h, h, oomee.”

“Oh. Thought you might like to walk round the town for a while.” The man looked like a school boy that was sulking after just being told he couldn't go on that school trip because of being naughty earlier.

Chris picked up on the look, a similar look he had just presented earlier, “Howard. You can stay out for the afternoon. I'll just tell Ma that you needed a day out. Required it to forget about what happened yesterday.”

“Yeah, I can take you round the market place and treat you to lunch and then we'll get a taxi home in time for your tea!” Arnold was just like a big kid! Acting like a child who had thought he had come up with the perfect plan and was almost jumping up and down on the deck.

Chris raised a left eyebrow, “Well? What do you think?”

The boy thought this through. It could be like the first day he had gone round Arnolds for a change and wished he had stayed in the frosty atmosphere of home. All they did was have a tinny and watch some Australian soap opera that he had recorded off the television, all afternoon. Not good at all and if this was to be the same? Just frequenting all the public houses then he'd rather stay in the cold.

“I'll treat you to lunch where ever you want to eat! Now what do you say?” The light of hope was burning intently in the older man's eyes.

Then again, when they had got to know each other it had been an account of the man's family history spoken over a couple of games on a games consol he had splashed out a lot of cash for. The afternoons around there had become a little more bearable and maybe this was an extension of that? If Howard didn't go then he would not know and he didn't fancy just waiting around trying to sweep up and hoping that those bullies didn't care to show up again.

“O, ook, k ,k ,ayy. I, i, i'llll.” Deep breath Howard, “G, g, goooo!”

“Great! Wonderful!” The man beamed and walked over to give Howard a light but loving hug.

A few minutes more and the boat called, ‘Mother's Pride' docked and Chris loaded up the car with the fishing stuff with the few fish they had caught. Slamming the rear door closed he walked up to his friends, “Now don't be late! Remember, tea is at six tonight and I don't think Mum would be too pleased you walking in late. You know how she likes us to sit down at the proper time.” Then looking at his long term friend, “Your watch working alright?”

“Yeah. Ten to twelve.”

“Good. No excuses in making my son late now is there?”

Arnie smiled he knew what this meant, “No boss!”

Walking round Chris delved into his pocket as he stood by Howard and placing a note into this young man's pocket he whispered, “Don't tell mother!” He walked away quickly before the boy had a chance to protest. Closing the drivers door he shouted, “See you tonight!” Before starting up the old beast which once awakened from it's slumber kicked like a mule and a few clouds of black smoke bellowed out of the exhaust before the thing lurched away out of the car park and on it's way home.

Howard clutched hold of his crutches and began the walk to the town which joined itself to the harbour. A few minutes up a steep hill and they would be in the town and another few minutes they would be in the hustle and bustle of the market place.

 

Chris parked the beast and stepped into the empty kitchen. He had deposited the fish into the outside fridge, the old one that often held smelly objects as fish. The old one that found the end of its life was going to be in a garage where the rust would eventually consume it and doing a good job of it! As the white enamel had disappeared all round the bottom and was receding up the thing at a steady rate of knots.

He got changed and washed making sure enough aftershave would cover over the smell of fish and the wafts of sea. Putting on his work clothes he trotted down to the shop to find his daughter had just served another regular and was doing well in attending to the wishes of a few American tourists who were devouring some of the biggest buns and cakes he had ordered in! Still if they cleaned him out, they could shut early on that side. Thinking about sides he switched to the side of darkness where his wife would be lurking. The light of love had seemed somehow to have gotten a little darker since moving here. He hadn't noticed it at first but then as the years turned on the heat and passed by fast the changes occurred and ever since Howard's arrival the whole love scene had died. For some reason she hated the boy. He often thought it was due to him coming here and some of the valid reasons she had put forth to this seemed to validate this and yet was there something unsaid?

“Oh light of my life! Come out, come out where ever you are?” He joked quietly as he walked up the dark hovel and peered in.

“You won't find any comfort in there!” Came the strong crisp voice of his wife's and yet it still managed to make him jump about a metre into the air!

“Hello love!” He reached over and gave her a kiss on the forehead, “Back as instructed. Shall I take my position or do you want me to cover your lunch?”

She seamed to ignore the question as she looked around for the lad, “Where is wonder boy?”

He flinched a little, or was it a squirm “ Ur , he's still in town with Arnold .”

Anne fixed him with a cold stare, “Why?”

The coldness was felt and Chris turned his gaze away and played with the envelope packs as he pretended to straighten them up a little. “I, we, felt he needed a rest from yesterday's troubles and if they come back today I will deal with them.”

“You deal with three young men in their prime!” She laughed at him before adding, “I'd like to see you try. Anyway I am onto sorting those bullies out.” Then after sighing a little she added further, “Doesn't matter he's not here to tidy up. The way our girl is flitting about on cloud nine, I'm sure she can do the job of ten Howard's today! Plus we don't have to pay him if he's not around.”

Chris felt confusion in his mind as it wrapped around his mind and snuff out the reason behind this statement like a python wrapping itself around its victim, until the victim was rendered unconscious, without thoughts and reason. Like he was now as he looked over and saw his girl acting weird!

“We, ree. What?” He was sounding like poor Howard before his mind cracked back into life with the question he had been searching for, “How come?” Then something weird happened! She smiled!

“Love! You remember that don't you?”

The words wounded his soul. He wasn't the cold fish around here! “I remember.” He chose instead and allowed a little chill of his own to run through his words.

Anne carried on oblivious to his coldness, “We had a stranger in our midst today who was young, warm and charming and rich. All the motives for the love light to switch on in our daughter's eyes.”

“Was he good looking?”

“Very! Those eyes could melt the coldest of hearts.”

“Melted yours then, did it?” Oop's! He had said this in a moment of anger, a little get back at you for saying what you did earlier syndrome. Childish to the last and he would pay. At least he thought he would pay but again she laughed at him.

“If I was her age it would have done so. But I have you now and I'm glad!”

“Why?”

A glint was in her eyes, “Your all the man that I need lover boy!”

Now a playful mood had come over her! Was it to do with his daughter and her interest in the opposite sex? Or was it to do with the fact that Howard was away? Both questions would remain unanswered as he pushed her into the dark hole which was alight with passions of when they were younger as he kissed Ann like they used to under the bridge when they were courting.

Anne drank him in and was more than reciprocating when the post office bell chimed and one customer was going to get her wrath as she let her husband go and stormed out of there like a bear with a sore head!

 

The market was the usual hustle and bustle of traders trying to sell fish, fruit and other foodstuffs. They were mixed in with a mobile coffee shop, a shoe trader, a few clothing outlets and an electronic gadget store. This market place was surrounded by shops and a few eating establishments. It had been here ever since the dawns of time when man first created money and of course the fishing business. Arnold had purchased a few bits and bobs which he had eaten on his way round. Howard was hungry and wondering when they were going to eat when his friend answered his question.

“Do you want to go somewhere and eat?”

He nodded that he did and he wanted to sit down if possible as his arms were feeling the strain of these god forsaken crutches!

“I know a more quiet place we can eat. Has a few tables outside and the scene is not bad either! Want to check it out?”

Howard nodded and soon they were moving away from the crowds and away from his sore shoulders, which took the brunt of people running into him and looking angry or embarrassed at Howard for being there. They moved away from the centre to the other side and once more Howard found himself walking up the hill and following a few streets that wrapped themselves around it. These had a more quiet feel to them and yet a darkness filled them. He couldn't put his finger on it, but the unease filtered through his body like a tingling feeling or was it the beginnings of pins and needles? Howard Muster couldn't describe the feeling and yet knew many people got it when on edge. It starts around the heart and spreads through the chest area. Unease was all he felt with that tingle.

“It's a club by night and by day it's a hot food establishment that serves some good coffee!” The old boy pushed out a seat for the young man and both sat down. The chairs were of the alloy metal type, cold to touch, silver in colour and the tables seemed to match it. A few cars passed by and across the road a few places could be observed. One a cinema with films he didn't know existed! Next on the right was an old store that looked like it sold mostly beer and cigarettes and on the other side was a run down looking place with double doors to it. Chipped green in appearance. The outside was littered with cigarette butt ends and a few empty bottles. Music wafted out through the window and as he looked hard he could see a few sailor types flirting with a few odd looking women inside.

“Wh, haat, isss, thhatt.” He took another deep breath before continuing, “p, pl, plaaacee?”

Arnie had just finished ordering a couple of cappuccinos and had picked up a menu when the question came to him. He pulled a broad smile before answering, “That is the place where you become a man.”

Howard frowned as he picked up his coffee and took a sip and realised that the coffee was a little too hot under the froth. He had burnt his tongue. Placing the cup down and asking with a sore tongue, “I, I, dooon,ttt unnn, derrr, stand?”

“It is where you find out all about the birds and the bee's!”

“R, rom, aance a, a, and. L, looovee.”

“No, not exactly. A more basic need of man.”

He traced along this line of thought like a child following a picture through tracing paper and the picture he had gave him a shock! He knew what this place was! His naivety had burnt him like the coffee and he felt a little sick for the needs of man had been confused. Sex was just sex and in his view the proper pleasure of having a member of the opposite sex around was for companionship. A common ground between the sexes. Everyone needed a friend and a friend who was close to you normally turned out to be your wife or on the other hand your husband. You lived together and shared your life together. Though this world had lost the concept of this and just wanted to be like animals!

He said out loud! “Sex!” And was surprised that because of anger he had not stuttered in any way!

Arnold looked a little embarrassed, “Yeah that sort of thing goes on here. It's a house full of prostitutes Howard.” He waved his hands in a gesture which read for the boy to keep his voice down. Even in this modern age it was still better to be on the careful side of things when talking about such subjects, and talking about subjects he thrust the menu under the boys nose and asked, “What food do you want?”

Howard looked at this man as another question came along, “D, d, do you. C, co,come.“ He took an even deeper breath for the end of this question needed to be asked, “Here f, f, for it atttt, this, pl, pl, plaaacee?”

“How about a burger and fries?”

The evasion of the question gave Howard the answer he needed, “Do, yooou?”

“Um, how about we just have the coffee?”

Howard was just going to repeat the question again when one of the ladies who had been sitting to his left butted in, “You bet he does. One of our regular customers.” He turned and stared hard at this girl. After all she was just that, a girl, who could only be a few years older than him. Just barely into her mid-twenties. Her dark jet black hair glistened in the sun and this ladies eyes were of the darkest brown and were just staring at his face and when they locked onto his eyes they seemed to bore into his soul, as if searching for the answer to whether he found it sickening or not? She found his answer.

“Sickening isn't it! An old man looking for pleasure from young women like me. I tell you sonny, you stick with your beliefs and hold on tight to them.” Then she snuffed out her cigarette onto the ash tray before standing up and adding, “Don't end up like the types of men we see around here. All a bunch of sad perverts!”

A man yelled at the girl from across the street, he had come out from the place, “Yo! Jasmine! Get your butt over here, you've got a client!”

She pulled a smile, a smile that actors pull out on stage as if masking the real sadness they felt at playing the same character over and over again, performance in and performance out over a very long season. They were sick of the same lines and the same movements and yet were tied to the job as it paid the wages. “Well got to go to work! I hope I don't see you around this place again.” She walked rather gracefully over the road and as the lady walked to the other side in her long but tight leather skirt she looked over and smiled at him before she was in the hands of a guy all dressed in black leather with a ugly red shirt and wore loads of jewellery. He placed his left hand round the back of her neck and seemed to push her inside through the doors.

Howard took another sip of his coffee and decided to not pursue this conversation anymore. He was angry at Arnold for exploiting young women and was angry at the young women for being around and wanting to make money out of dirty old men and young men to come and think of it. He was a traditional man, he wanted the traditional things in life. A good wife and a wholesome one at that, who loved him for what he was inside. Not on the physical side, but the emotional supportive side. That was what fed the heart and helped the body to survive in this world. He remembered this woman's looks and compared them to Elizabeth 's and found there was no competition. Beth was as pure as the snow on a fresh winters day, while this girl was like the sludge left over on the side of the road when the cars had trampled down the snow and mixed it with the thaw and the salt along with contaminants of mucky tyres led the sludge to be black and brown in colour. Dirty and ugly looking like this place!

“I'm, g, g, gooing h,h, oomee!” He stood up and managed to grab one crutch while the left one fell to the ground.

Arnold felt guilt riddle his body and called, “Howard don't leave!”

The look Howard gave was of disgust at the man and after the second crutch let him down by getting stuck between his seat and the table he just let them go and walked off the best he could by letting his good leg take the strain. His back knotted up on the right hand side as it protested to the abuse it had received from yesterday's beating and today's day full of shock.

Arnold pulled out a note and stuck it under his coffee cup. The other had spilled onto the table and represented this days spilling of bad news. He cursed himself for being stupid enough to bring the lad here. Though he could help the lad grow up like his father had done to him. Arnold always remembered his twenty first birthday! His father had seen his unsuccessful attempts at life and had seen him fail at school. One night Arnold had come home after another job had failed and he had sat him down with a beer.

“Listen son. You aren't good at nowt are ya?”

Arnie shook his head as his father circled round the table as he spoke.

“You'll have to go into the services. Navy I reckon. Get you out into the world, exploring the ocean and finding your way. I know a man who can get you in with a minimal of fuss. Yet, he will only let you in if you become a man.”

He placed his hands upon the boy's shoulders, “Tonight we are going to turn you into a one! Drink up and put on some decent clothes. Borrow some of my aftershave boy! Make you smell like a million quid!”

If only Arnold had known what was to unfold and ever since he had been a pawn to this need. He had been damned! Arnold knew he could never have a proper relationship with a woman after he had gone to that fateful place with his father, that night and had become a man. Yet now he had had this idea to introduce this element into Howard's life. After all, this was as close as he was ever going to get to a woman. No lady would take on the responsibility of Howard. Not anyone in their right mind.

“Howard! Your crutches. Howard!” He shouted after the boy and soon caught up with the young man in full speed and yet only a slow walker compared to any normal human.

Howard had had enough time to reason on what had been going on here and yet he asked, “Why, d,did, y, yo, uu. Bring meee heeree?”

Arnold gave out the crutches and explained while the boy tucked them under each armpit, “I wanted to make you a man. Thought you might grow up a bit in the eyes of the world.”

“By, payiing a, a, a, wwwoooman. Too, h,heelp mm,mmeee. T, ttoo, dooo, the, theiis?”

He stepped back a little and confessed, “That's what my father did for me!”

“B, b, bu, llyy f, f, forrr himmm!” Howard hit back as sarcastic anger flowed through his veins and powered out through his eyes. Yet what was said next shot him down in flames!

“Well, that is the only way a cripple like you is going to get a woman!”

“What?”

Anger let Arnie speak his earlier thoughts, “Well! look at you! No woman will gladly settle down with you in your condition will they?” As soon as he said this Arnie wished he hadn't!

With tears welling up in his eyes Howard fled the scene and left Mister Riverman to chew over his words! Words that filled Howard's mind! Wasn't that what his father has said?

“You are a waster boy! No one will ever want you around! That's why you failed at school! You are a worthless piece of junk. Best end it all and save the world the trouble of burying you.” This was said in anger and while Howard was pinned up against the cold lounge wall at his old home.

Yet all that was said he would not allow this world the pleasure of seeing him cry again!

 

Howard caught the bus home and was glad that his new father had given him enough money to eat and come home. As for Mister Riverman, he wouldn't bother talking to the man now that Howard Muster knew how he was viewed by the man. A fine friend he had turned out to be! Didn't the bible talk about wolves in sheep's clothing somewhere? Well it was right and Arnold was one of those. How Chris could ever like a man like that he would never understand.

As the day had started so well it was to end with rain clouds and it did so on the bus home, a storm had come in across the sea and as the rain came down and the glass started to fog up, he remembered turning up after coming out of hospital to see Joey's grave. It had been a slow drive that day and like today the sun had shone brightly until almost they had got to the cemetery. Then the world remembered what had happened and gave way to tears.

“The grave of young Joey is just over the small hill.” Sergeant Norris said as he held open the door for Howard and his mother to step out of and into the rain. He held open an umbrella and handed it to the lady and felt relieved that she had taken it. “I'll be here when you decide to come back.” He said with a voice full of understanding. Norris watched mother and son take the slow walk up the hill towards the grave. He felt glad he had offered to bring them out here and glad that Howard was reaching closure on this sad event.

Howard remembered the noise of wet grass as it squelched under his feet as he walked up the hill with the aid of his crutches. Even though he had taken his pain killers he could still feel a dull thud of pain and knew that soon he would have to increase the dosage to compensate for the wear and tare on his body.

Soon they were there. “Your friends place of rest Howard.” His mother had said so quietly it was almost lost in the rain.

Suddenly Howard felt all the horrors of that day come flooding back and he felt angry as tears couldn't stop from falling. With the anger he uttered his first unhindered sentence, “Why did God have to take him away!”

His mother held onto him, “God cannot be blamed for taking Joey away! Apostle James said that God cannot be tried with bad things. We are sinners from Adam onwards. Time and unforeseen occurrence took Joey away that day and almost took you away from me.” Bending down to face him she looked into his eyes, “I don't blame God. I lay the blame on human error. The landlord's fault for not stopping Lord Covington and the Lord's fault for thinking he could drive while being drunk. It was human error, not God's. Now you just remember that!”

As she pulled out a tissue to wipe away the tears he had spilled Howard had remembered two things. One, that his mother's loving reproof had helped him to see where the trouble had lied and two, that his mother's stare had been the same as that prostitutes had been. Okay so the eyes weren't exactly the same colour, but the expression behind the eyes had been one of loving concern. Yet again how could a woman of loose morals be interested in a cripple who no one would have the slightest interest in? The rain clouds thickened in his mind again as the bus sped along on it's journey to the village.

The bus pulled up just outside the public house of all places, probably an idea from the Bus Company for people to have a quick one to recover their wits after a ride round some of the narrowest twisting roads ever witnessed. Howard was used to them, but for the brave tourist looking over a vertical drop in a bus is daunting and a stiff drink would help prepare them for a journey back taking the main road to the fishing town instead.

Stepping down onto the tarmac he was relieved to be back after this afternoons venture. As Howard looked over he noted a big motorcycle and one man disguised by his blue helmet getting on the beast, throttle it up and away he went out towards the town Howard had just got away from and was in no hurry to go back to the place. Those woman's eyes flashed up again along with the confession that one former friend was a man of loose ways. Using the bus to steady him he stood upright and walked the short journey home, if he could call this place home? Howard noted that the shop was in the process of closing and he also noted that a police car was outside. Had there been more trouble at mill?

He hurried down and round along the alley to enter through the back door and on through the kitchen to where Anne Lane had just placed a large cup of tea down for a policeman. Not just any policeman, Sergeant Norris who smiled and while doing so showed his advanced years by the creases on his forehead.

“Ah! Howard. Sergeant Norris wants to take a statement over the incident yesterday.”

He looked at her and knew that this woman never listened to what he had to say, “W, wwwhy?”

Norris spoke, “I want to get those ruffians off your back. By you giving me a statement I can pursue the matter further, get the law on your side and then we can see just how tough they really are when locked up for assault.”

“Go on boy! Show the sergeant your bruised body!”

Anne went to grab hold of him and Howard shrugged her away along with the thought of ever dobbing these men in, “No! I, I, shaall, n, n, noottt, d, dooitttt!”

Anne took a quick step back! “It's for your own protection!”

“I, I. Shhall, h, h, h, aaandlllle.” Taking a deep breath, “Ittt. My, owwnn. W, waaayy!” He hit back with and again saw both parties move in a rather uncomfortable way.

“Dear boy! I can't help unless you help me. Now give me the names and descriptions and I can put a stop to this.”

“No!” Howard shouted and walked away with one woman bellowing after him!

“Ingrate! After all the things we have had to put up with from you over the years! All the cooking, washing, caring. I've been a mother to you!”

Howard stopped at the door. Turning round he glared at this lady, “Youuu, haavee, n, n, neeverr been a, a, a, m, motherr, t, t, to meeee!”

Norris noted that the wind had been taken out of Anne Lane 's sails as she just gawped at the vacated room where that boy had been. Turning to the sergeant she muttered a word she had used earlier, “Ingrate.”

Chris came flying through the door, “I saw the police car! Something happened?”

Norris stood up almost spilling the cup as it was balanced precariously on the edge of the wooden dinner table where he had been sitting, “No sir! Just came to see if I could press charges against those town boys.”

He looked at his wife and then back to Norris before taking a deep breath, “It seems you are wasting your time. Howard does not want to press charges. He knows his disabilities will bring him trouble and ridicule from certain immature ones, but that is his decision. Whether wrong in our eyes or not, we cannot change his mind and should give him our support on this matter.”