REFLECTIONS

 

“Come on Howard! School will not be that bad.” His mother smiled down at him and for once his father was there. Taking a short break to come home and visit.

“Show the Muster spirit! It's the thing that makes us Muster's survive come what may.” His father John crouched down by him and held his hand which meant a lot as the guy seemed to be a cold fish. “Did I tell you of that time when one of the test rigs lost its moorings in the North Sea ?”

“N, no.”

“It was a terrible storm that blew up, one of those nasty north easterly ones! Cold and bitter. My team were on shift and doing our best to stay on target when the anchoring snapped and the whole rig went for a burden. It raged like an angry bull bucking about and kicking like a mule. We had lost radio contact due to the communication satellite was down. So me and another brave chap decided to climb up to set another temporary one up. Trust me! when one of those is running lose in the sea, you often wonder if the thing won't go belly up. I had the rest of the surviving crew clutching for their lives down in the communications room. We made it up there and re-established the dish and sent out a mayday. Still we had to ride out the storm hoping that the thing wouldn't hit something or decide to land a shore. We dug deep and sang songs most of the night and day until we heard the sound of rescue and when we looked out it was a calm day. The sun was shining and the tugs were homing into view to pull us back and tie us down! If it hadn't been for my team and the old Muster spirit we'd been sunk.” Then looking at his son he asked, “Are you willing to give the old never say die Muster spirit a go today?”

Howard felt better for the story and nodded that he would.

“Best get going then!” His mum said in what he knew now to be a nervous way.

Howard had been absent from school for nearly a year and was walking a little but still at this point he was relying heavily on the wheel chair. He remembered that this was a difficult day. He had missed a lot of school and it would be hard to catch up. It meant a lot of extra effort which to be honest was hard as he and Joey had messed around a lot and were the jokers of the group, always competing for the faster joke or the last laugh. Or in an argument the last say.

The day was warm and the term was fresh. Yet when he got to school the faces of his fellow classmates were cold. Some were new and didn't know him from Adam and yet others found him a wreck of a person. It is easy to understand now looking back. Kids are honest and kids can be cruel! He was the butt of sniggers and at the school break he was on his own. Even Charlotte Young had voiced her opinions that he was odd and ugly. This didn't go down too well and with the tennis ball football re-established Howard had to watch as others ran about and didn't even ask him if he would like to play at least in goal. So much for the sympathy of the village! The cards he had received from well wishers had been forgotten and he learnt a valuable lesson that day and many more days to follow. It was that you would like to be the centre of attention because you were shown this by your mother and father. You were loved and cared for, yet you learn all too soon that when you step into the big wide world, nobody gives a care for you and the saying ‘here today forgotten tomorrow' fits really well. You may have a few close family members and a few close friends, but that is as far as it goes. Others may profess an interest in you, yet as soon as the going gets tough they dump you in order for self survival. Even these so-called mega stars felt the same. All these friends and when one slips up and makes an error just watch them scurry away like miniature crabs on the beach. Howard's so called friends had abandoned him today and did for the rest of that term. He was picked on for being different. The amount of times his tyres were let down and things like ‘freak' or ‘odd ball' pinned to the back of his chair. Even when he came in on crutches he had them kicked away by some of the bully boys. Howard was found face down in the toilets by a teacher. Yet still Howard took up the Muster spirit and endured like his father had through that storm. Even though on a later date he had found that story to be a lie!

One evening the Muster spirit gave out after he was found hanging on the coat rack. A joke by those bully boys who were still today giving him hassle by whacking him with the broom just the other day.

“We can't keep him in school John!” His mother shouted down the phone at her husband. “I know you can't afford to pay for a private school, or a tutor. That's why I am pulling him out and I will teach him myself!”

There was a pause, obviously his father was giving her the broadest piece of his mind before she hit back with, “I know how you feel! He's our son and I will teach him myself. Of course I can! He's being bullied and yes he has stuck it out, but when you find your son on the floor of the boys toilets with a horrible slogan stuck to his back and the butt of cruel jokes...” His mother was loosing it and he could tell she was close to tears at this point, “When, when the head master cannot find who is doing it! I, I, have to question the running of that school and to be called a stupid moron by the teacher and given abuse by other teachers. No I am not over reacting!” She was in tears now as his brave mother brought this conversation to a halt, “It's a decision I have made. My boy is coming under my tutelage! Good evening John Muster!”

A few more tears and a few more minutes past before she entered into his bedroom and placing her hand on his forehead he felt the warmth of her touch and now as she stroked his hair he felt her soft words, “I will teach you all you need to know Howard. You will be the brightest kid it this dark place. One day you will make a woman proud of you to be her husband and live a good life. You will want for nothing, and no one will hurt you or be in a position to do so.”

Howard pretended to be asleep when these word fell onto him like a few of her bitter tears. His mother had learned that only a few close people actually care, and right now it was just her and Howard.

He was pulled out of school and pulled out of sleep by a shaking.

“Howard. Howard!”

Opening his eyes and feeling a little annoyed at the cruellest way of being severed from his memories like a baby being detached from it's mothers love at birth by the cutting of the umbilical cord, he frowned at the person.

“Just been called by the police! Arnold Riverman is in hospital. He's critically ill!”

It was Beth! “W, wh, whaat?”

“Constable Charlie Ferris was called to the scene and identified who he was. This was confirmed by another few. He had been mugged and hit on the head with a foreign object!”

“Wh, whaat. C, c, caann, I, d, dooo?”

“Dad is upset! He had a go at Arnold last night and now wants to go over. Wondered if you'd come? As mum and I can take care of the shop first thing.”

He nodded, even though he had been angry at Arnold for his private life, he was Chris's friend and that alone would be worth going along for support. Howard managed to get dressed and out the door and into the car. It was now he realised that he was going to the same place he had frequented and been present on a dreadful day. Was Arnold going to repeat that hard day?

“It's my fault! I had a go at him because of you! I know his lifestyle isn't like ours, but he's a friend and one who wouldn't think twice about coming to our aid. It's the least I can do for him!” Chris looked at Howard and got a supporting nod and a hand touched his. So this was the right thing to do. With a wheel spin the old car shot out and off to the hospital.

Hospitals! He hated hospitals. Howard's mind drifted back to his dream and to his mother as she worked hard to maintain the house and cram in extra time for teaching him. He remembered the fight with the authorities to get him to stay home and after a fight she had won the right to. From mathematics in the morning to English in the afternoon along with the science classes, Howard steadily realised that his mother was a source of knowledge. He used to sit in the garden watching her mow the lawns and weed the flower beds. She was a proud mother who would not accept any help. In her eyes the world had let her and her son down.

For science classes sometimes he would be taken out to the woods to pick a plant and then at home draw a picture of it and describe how it worked. His mother was always proud of his work and was often given a gift of either a kiss on the cheek or a sweet or two. Funny he'd never have flying saucer sweets again.

Mrs Lunn had now taken over the shop and things changed a little, but the shop was essentially the same. In those days she was good at picking toys. The toy shop was upstairs, right up a narrow flight which these days would fail the strict health and safety tests. Yet she used to go up and bring down various toys for Howard to maul over for about an infinity before he'd choose the most expensive one and watch with ignorance as his mother would put a few shopping items back so she could afford him his treat for working hard.

It's funny! You only realise how selfish children are when you get older and become an adult yourself. When you can look back in maturity and realise the sacrifice your parents made for your happiness.

Howard watched the summer go on and something was changing, his mother was slowing up. At first he thought it was exhaustion and then one day she did something odd and took him up to the mansion that was the home of Lady Covington.

“Wh, why are, we, we, going here?”

His mother all pale looking pushed his chair up and buzzed the big gates before explaining, “We need to see Lady Covington Howard! At first I thought we could ignore her pleas, but now, I'm sure we can forgive and forget.”

The intercom at the gate was answered at this moment, “How can I help you madam?”

“My name is..” Then she paused, looked at Howard, “Howard Muster, my son is here to see Lady Covington please.”

There was a long pause before the butler had got himself off the floor with shock and had stopped the lady from doing the same. At any rate the gates parted. Which to Howard was like magic!

“Motorized gates Howard, all the rich have them.” Then looking at her son, “Please forgive her, it wasn't her fault.”

The look of sincerity and the warmth behind the smile fell with a veil of desperation. They walked the remaining quarter of a mile until the doors opened to this large mansion with it's grey walls and its only source of colour, a green leafed ivy doing it's best to cover this buildings nakedness.

“Lady Covington will see you in the lounge mom!” The butler gestured the way in which all should walk and they took the hint.

The place was well spacious, in fact Howard's house could well fit into the hall! The lounge was just as big and full of oil paintings of ugly old fat people who were long distant and dead relatives. Why were all people painted in the old days fat and ugly? Howard would have to ask his mother about that.

“Welcome Mrs Muster and of course Howard.” Came a deep voice from the depths of the lounge and over to the far door he saw this well dressed woman. “You sure know how to shock the living daylights out of people.”

His mother nodded with respect and spoke the same way, “Sorry to cause you any shock Lady Covington. That was not my intention.”

The lady who was greying and looking more older now than when he had seen her briefly one day at school a few years back. Opening a new wing to the school or something. Yet time had been cruel to her. Had her soul been ravaged by the ill fate of that day and was Howard the nemesis of her?

“What is your intention Mrs Muster?”

“Just to see Howard as you had once requested. I felt it was wrong for us to avoid all contact with yourself.”

The lady of the house moved closer to Howard and looked him in the eyes, “Do you forgive me Howard?”

He looked at his mother who motioned for him to say something! “I, I feel, you are not, to, to blame.”

“Forgive and forget! Bury the hatchet and act as if nothing happened?”

“What ever the Masterson's took from you I do not know. All we are doing is facing you to let you know that Howard and I bid you no ill will!”

The lady of the house walked round them as if finding all this a big joke at her expense, “And what do you both want from me? If I recall your husband told me he wanted nothing from me?”

“My husband is stubborn. All I ask is that you may forgive us for...” She stumbled in word and seemed to Howard's observation to crease up a little, “Our delay and that you will bare no ill will for our ignorance.”

Lady Covington stopped pacing and smiled as the years seemed to roll off of her, “I bear no ill will. Guilt is all I have left! This day will not be forgotten either will your kindness. Will you take a seat?”

“No. Must get back and carry on my schooling with my son.”

She frowned, “You are teaching him from home?”

“Yes. Howard was a butt of many jokes at school, cruel jokes. I decided to teach him from home.”

“Very noble of you!” The lady seemed to be amazed at his mothers courage.

“We must be going. Thank you for your time!”

“Grantham, Show our guests out.” Then she added, “Mrs Muster, please come again soon.”

“I will try Lady Covington. Good day!” He felt his mother grasp hold of the wheel chair and move with the butler towards the door, when just at the end of the hall the grip was lost and a slap more than a thud was heard.

“Oh my goodness! Lady Covington!” The butler shouted.

Howard was met by a chaos of some sort, “Mum! Mother!” He started to panic when he heard the words.

“Grantham, call an ambulance and hurry!”

“Mother!” He yelled again and was confronted by Lady Covington.

“Your mother has collapsed! We are calling an ambulance. They will know what to do. Now don't panic, I'm sure all will be well. Probably been working too hard.”

The ambulance came and his mother was taken away. Just like Arnold must have been.

 

Some places never change and this place didn't, apart from the amount of activity. Even in the early hours of the morning there were many staff walking briskly and tending to emergency's. Howard appreciated how hard these dedicated members worked. He had realised at an early age from his therapy just how hard and what long hours all hospital staff worked.

Reception was just down the hall a little and when he reached the desk with Chris it was only a short while before a nurse said, “How may I help you?”

“I'm a friend of Arnold James Riverman. He was admitted in earlier and I wanted to know how he is?”

She tapped the keyboard and located the man, “I think he's in intensive care at the moment.” Then at that instant the doctor came by and the young nurse called out, “Doctor Bold! Two gentlemen are here to find out how a patient of yours is doing. An Arnold James Riverman.”

The tall chap stopped, frowned at them both and moved over, “Relatives?”

“No, close friends actually.”

The doctor raised his eyebrows so they showed over his thick rimmed black glasses, “Oh I see! Well he's a lucky man. Has a fractured skull and a few cracked ribs, but otherwise he's in good shape for a mugging. He is now in the Blackwood ward.”

“When can we see him?”

He frowned again at the older one of the two, “He'll be out of it for the night. After I have checked on him first thing and made sure he is compos mentis, you can probably see him then.”

Chris felt relieved, Howard knew that many people always prepare themselves for the worst and when better news comes all things seem well with the world. Shame it didn't work for Howard all those years ago.

“You can see your mother now.” The doctor said in a pained sort of way. Howard wheeled himself in and felt the pain of his body protest. Yet his mum was the most valuable thing he had in this world!

His mother was sat up in bed and had a few tubes coming in and out of her. She looked as pale as ever. What were they doing to her?

“Hello Howard,” she whispered. “Not doing to well son.” She had tears in her eyes and he knew that what she was going to say would not be good. “Please be strong for me. I need you to be strong.”

How could he be strong when his mother looked this way and he had his own tears forming in his eyes!

“I'm dying Howard. It's not your fault, it's not God's fault. It's my fault.”

“How, can it be, be your fault?” He whispered back.

“My pancreas has cancer in it.” She smiled before adding, “Way too much cancer in it. Soon you will be on your own. Your father and youself will be able to cope.”

He noted just how blood shot her eyes were and knew how those drugs worked. All trying to make her live longer. Yet all roads led to death.

“Howww l, long?”

“Maybe a few hours, or maybe a few days. Nothing more.”

“Why?” Howard questioned as tears fell.

“I'd been ill for a while, though I didn't know what. How many people think of cancer when they get little pains here and there, or when you feel tired you think it's just from working? Little do you know that cancer has it's wicked way with you and is so advanced you only have a few hours to tell your family a few things.”

“Mum!”

“Be strong my boy!” She reached out and held onto his hand, “With my dying breath I will always love you. Don't go away from this hospital hating the world because of me. You are strong and you will do well for yourself. You will make me proud, as I am already proud of the way you have coped with tragedy.” As the tears came she continued, “Live your life to the full my son. If you have a dream, take it with both hands! Life is too short to dwell in the past and too short for indecisions. My proudest day was giving birth to you and I will always hold that memory dear to me.” Letting Howard go she smiled and said, “Now leave this room and do me proud.”

“But mother!” Howard pleaded in tears and wavering emotions flickering through his voice as one candle of light shed by his mother would soon be extinguished forever.

“Now go and wait for your father!”

He didn't want to go! Just wanted to curl up by his mother's feet like a loyal dog by it's owner. Yet at this time she was sending him away to wait for his father.

John Muster came through the door's. The second time he had been called away from his work for an emergency in the household. He ran up to the boy and asked, “Where is she?”

Howard thumbed to where his mother lay in her room and watched him brush him by. Was it a few minutes later, or was it a few hours he didn't know. All Howard remembered was the loud howl of pain as one husband watched his wife pass away in death and when he opened the door to the private room his father looked round glared at Howard. It is a look that you never forget and one that haunts you for the rest of your life along with those words as he got up and passed to the left of the wheelchair without looking at him.

“This is all your fault boy! All yours!” The footsteps moved with anger as the outer door was hit open with rage and squeaked with pain from the impact, while Howard's heart was ripped open to bleed with the loss of his mother and the hatred shown from his father!

“I'm sorry Howard. There is nothing more we can do.” The doctor said almost as an apology.

Howard nodded and asked, “Can, can I, I, I. S, s, s, eee. Her?”

“Sure.” He pushed the lad into the room where the boy's mother was lying, oh so still.

To Howard she looked in peace and yet it was hard to not wait for the one you love to burst forth with, “It's only a joke! I'm all right really!” Or maybe just sit up and talk about things. But death was so unnatural and cruel. You spent your entire life loving someone and they die leaving you with an empty hollow feeling. As if your brain just cannot comprehend how things die. Howard wished he could do without emotions and yet tears was all he could find. Though he was angry and bitter at himself now. It was his fault! He should have seen the signs, should have got his mother to go to a doctor or hospital? Should have been on the ball and now crying over her like a baby crying over spilt milk! He would never cry again! How can he cry when he is responsible for her death. His father was right and how Howard would pay and gladly pay for his error at being so selfish in wallowing in his own self pity about how hard he'd had it. Now he wished he had died alongside his friend. This way his father could have moved home and would have spotted his wife's demise and stopped the scene that was held before his eyes.

“Mother! I'm so sorry!” Howard cried and kept repeating himself as the nurses came in to pull him away while the doctor covered over the body.

 

The last thing Howard wanted to do was sit in this weird smelling hospital for the night and yet here they are, just waiting for a chance to see a man who had had the hand of fate come against him. It had started with Harold and ended in this mugging! Was he a omen? A bad man like Jonah was for that ship and would be found out soon and cast from the village so all could live without the curse of God or something?

“Want another drink?”

Howard turned slightly as this one half asleep man who's beard was showing as long as a six o'clock shadow now, maybe because it was six in the morning! “No, thaankkss!” If he had another drink from that scaled up drinks machine he thought it might bung up his insides. Besides he had already been to the men's room about a dozen times! Some to relieve himself and others, just to stretch the body out and try to keep it from knotting up like it had the habit of doing.

“Did you take your tablets?” Chris had a glass eyed look which showed he must have dozed off into a deep sleep before being woken by a rattling trolley full of bed pans or some type of metal containers.

“Noot, t, till. Eightt.”

He looked confused and gazed at his watch, frowning before he realised, “Thought it was eight.” He yawned, “How much sleep did you get?”

“N, not. M, mmmuch.” Howard was used to little sleep. If you looked at his eyes, he always had dark brown marks under them which sometimes looked as if he had been punched in the nose and had blacked them. Still, he was used to sleepless nights and on some occasions had been awake the whole night through. So this was no mean feat for him. Howard was an expert!

“Me either! Seats are a bit on the hard side. I was thinking of going to the car.” Chris opened his mouth and another yawn let forth like a lion out for food and then he asked, “Want something to eat?” The lad nodded an affirmative. So he reached deep into his pocket to find some change. It was time to attack the tall wide machine with chocolate bars and crisps in them!

Howard stood up and felt the blood rush to his legs. The plastic edges on these seats had the tendency of cutting into the backs of your legs and severing all possible blood flow. Now the blood was coming back and making his legs have those frustrating and very painful cases of pins and needles which you just had to grim and bear it, till they went away.

“ Mr Lane ?” Asked a very petite nurse.

Chris took his eyes away from the machine and with fresh alertness washing over him like dipping your head into and ice cold bucket of water he looked round, “Yes!”

“The matron has good news! Your friend Arnold Riverman is awake now and asked for you, upon learning that you and your son had waited here all night.”

He was going to correct the young nurse, but decided to let it go over the son thing. After all Howard was a son to him. “Right! Howard!”

Howard fell into line behind his friend and his leg fell into line behind him as he pulled himself along trying to keep up with the speeding nurse as she weaved her way through the corridors to finally enter a room. Howard raised his eyes. This seemed to him as a rather private room, with only Arnold in it.

Chris looked at the mass of tubes and other pieces of apparatus, “How is he?”

The nurse looked concerned, “Not bad, at least he has come round and seems to be communicating quite well. The doctor will know for sure after a few more tests later today. Don't stay too long.”

He nodded and pulled up a seat, “Arnie! It's Chris.”

The figure in the bed didn't look much like Arnold Riverman, Howard thought. The eyes were black and the bandage wrapped round his head didn't add to the aid of recognising this man. There was a few cuts and bruises and other colourful marks around this guy's face. In fact a badly dropped apple had less bruises on it than he did!

The man opened his eyes a little and tried to pull a smile, it only came out from one side and when he spoke it was quiet and slow, “My, friends.”

“How are you feeling?”

“A, little, on the, delicate side.” He smiled a little more before adding, “Like, a steamroller, ran over me.”

Chris smiled, “Sorry I didn't bring any grapes or stuff, but there are no shops open in the early hours of the morning around here. I'll get you some later.” Then putting a more serious face on he asked, “What were you doing in that alley?”

The man closed his eyes as if recalling the whole incident. Looking at Howard and trying to smile he said, “I, did it for you.”

Chris frowned and exchanged glances before settling again on the big man, “Did what for Howard?”

“Picked, a fight, with one of, those boys who, beat Howard.” He may have a heavy hangover feeling, yet he could see the look of horror on both faces. “Trouble was,” he continued speaking through one corner of his mouth as his skull protested. “I didn't realise, his friends were behind me. Next thing, I'm lying on the floor, unable to move and bleeding.” He noted Chris motioning to speak and nodded to him to be quiet though shaking your head with concussion is very painful! “I, wanted to say sorry to you, Howard. That girl we saw. Told me how she felt about, men like me. How you all feel.”

“Come now, we don't hate you! We just don't approve of your lifestyle that is all!” Then looking at Howard for support Chris asked, “Isn't that so Howard?” And felt relief to see the young man nod in agreement.

“Never the less. You were right.” His eyes began to water a little, “I thought I owed you all one, especially Howard. I saw the bully and like a bull of rage, I was going to teach him a lesson. I even failed that.”

This reminded Howard too much of how his mother looked at the end and this sent shivers down his spine. Pictures of her filled his mind before he could rid them with a few words, “You! A, r, ee. N, nnnott, a, a, faaailuurree! Y, y, youu. Arree, a, a, grreatt, f, f, friennd!”

If a few words could buck up a man, those words did! For the smile broke the record so far and the words were full of emotion, “Thanks Howard!”

Arnold had a few problems, yet over all he was a decent guy who wanted the best for others and would often do the unexpected. Still he was no heavy weight in the fighting stakes. He could hold his own against one or two but not against a group. Good at turning up and painting windows which he had done years back for Chris when things got a little on top of the guy. Yes Arnold was a good man with a few vices. If the vices could be eradicated then he would be better for it.

“Sorry gentlemen, but you will have to leave now.” A young nurse came along looking all apologetic for her intrusion, “ Arnold has been ordered to rest and the doc will have kittens if he finds out we've let you in at this hour!”

“Sure.” Chris acknowledged and held Arnold 's hand before adding, “See you later buddy!”

Howard smiled and just held his hand without words and yet both knew that they had made up again. He was just about to turn when Arnold muttered.

“She's a great kid!”

He frowned, “W,whoo?”

“The hooker. She doesn't act like a one at all. She is different Howard. Forgive her as you have forgiven me, please.”

Howard looked into this man's bloodshot eyes and felt as if he was looking at his mother, “I, I forgiive, h, herr.” Though what he was forgiving the lady for he had no idea? Women of that profession chose that profession to make money and that was all. Yet, if he was asked by this man to forgive her, then he would do so.

Chris had picked up on those words as they walked quietly out of the room and into the hallway, “Forgive who for what?”

Howard slowed up, “The lladyy, whoo, I, I, sssaww. Attt, th, the cafeee.”

“For what?” He was repeating himself again.

Exactly! “I, doonottt, kn, knoowww?”

The walk back to the car was a silent one and as they left they knew they would be back in time to open up with the girls as another day was here. Now would those gang of thugs come here after Arnold 's assault who would know? All Chris knew was that Howard would handle this in his own way and that time could only tell how and why. If it had been him, he would have done what Anne had suggested and shopped them into the police.

 

FAIRGROUND ATTRACTION

 

The plastic chairs were out, the tables were cleaned from last nights rain fall, the shutters were up and the usual hanging items were out. The last thing to be hung was the postcard rack which had several local cards of picturesque scenes taken by a photographer who was probably dead by now. And the people caught in these time traps wore very out of date clothing and the cars were square, very square. Others were comical ones about the climate round here or were about the town and it's fishing business and on the other end, the rich and their flashy yachts.

The rack was up when Elizabeth heard the sound of a loud explosion or was it? No, it was that large motorcycle heading towards the shop and all too soon the blue flash was here. She pretended that she hadn't heard the noise of the engine approaching for she had already rapidly turned round to fiddle with the straight and neat row of cards.

Peter Scot pulled the weighty beast over and parked it by the shop. He was going to go past, yet the sight of this fair maiden putting out the postcards made him stop and yank off his helmet to get a better look. Walking across he reached over her shoulder and took a card, “Nice morning isn't it?”

Beth spun round and came very close to landing her face in his leather chest, “Oh! Mr Scot. I hadn't heard you come up?” And immediately went a lighter shade of red within the close proximity Beth now found herself.

He stepped back, “Sorry for startling you! I thought you would have heard me coming? I'm so used to people giving me the evils about it.”

“I heard your bike, I just thought you had gone the other way, that's all.”

Pete thought about this and knew that possibility not to be a true one. He played along, “Oh. Well how could I when you have something I need Miss Lane !”

If she could have stepped back she would have done! Yet her back was against the card rack as he reached for her! Elizabeth closed her eyes and waited for a few seconds. Upon opening her eyes she found he had picked another of those out of date cards.

“I want these two cards, a couple of stamps and my card back that I had left here yesterday!” Pete smiled as she opened her eyes and shot him with her stare.

“I'll just go and get it.” Her breathing was fast and erratic as she came in with the man following her.

Howard had just got down from shaving and making himself as presentable as possible, along with Chris who was looking rough this morning.

Chris obviously needed a few more hours sleep. Yet the sight of his girl rushing in, in a fluster! All red faced made him think that this guy was causing aggravation!

“Trouble love, want me to sort it out?” He asked his daughter as she went up to the post office counter.

Beth gave him one of her broadest smiles which showed some of that childish excitement she kept hidden so well, except when she was either receiving gifts or giving them. “No dad! Just serving a customer!”

Howard slid up to the counter and watched Elizabeth oust her mother from the hole and serve this tall man. Was this the guy she had told him about only last night?

Mrs Lane came rushing out of her cave like a bear with a sore head until she too realised it was the man! “Oh, good morning mister Scot. Trust all is well with you?” She watched him smile at her daughter before acknowledging.

“ Yes Mrs Lane all is well, and with you I hope?” Peter added, managing to tare his eyes away from the maiden.

“Oh yes! Apart from a few minor problems.” Anne had nudged her husband who was standing there like a cardboard advertisement fixture and when she knocked him with her elbow he wobbled like one. It was up to her to get things moving as usual, “This is my husband Chris Lane !”

“Pleased to meet you!” Pete said and offered his hand which he them realised had a glove on it still. “Sorry.” He apologised before removing the offending gloves and now reached out to shake the man by the hand.

Then Anne looked at the offending item at the end of the row, “And this is Howard.” The voice showed the lack of love she had for this individual.

“Our son!” Chris added.

“Ah! Pleased to meet you too!” Pete offered his hand, yet the man just raised his hand like an Indian chief saying ‘How!' to show that his form of greeting was a cautious one. Not so friendly! Still there had to be a cautious one in the house, there is always one.

Anne shot the boy a dirty look before she changed it back to a smile and high regard for the little man standing here, “Doing anything nice today?”

“I was hoping to be looking at a few properties today. Then, this evening I was thinking of going to the fair, it came over I understand on Sunday?”

“Yes! Howard and I make a point of going when it comes down!” Beth almost shouted from the other side of the glass along with placing the stamps and this man's card on the old fashioned tray which flipped over to land the goods on his side. When she looked up and fell into his eyes she found he was smiling.

“Then we best all go! Make an evening of it, say tonight, or tomorrow?”

“Yes how wonderful!” Beth shouted and remembered Howard who seemed to be throwing daggers this way. “How about it Howard?”

There was something too nice about this guy, a phoney exterior, masking the real person. Howard was going to say no! I don't want you marching in and taking away everything to me, when he saw the look in her eyes. Beth was subconsciously pleading with him to say yes. Sighing in his mind he answered aloud, “O, okay.”

“Well, I can't go.” Chris muttered, “Best keep a vigil on Arnold .”

“ Arnold ?” Pete asked thinking it was a dog or something.

“Arnold Riverman, a good friend. He's in hospital. Needs my help.” Then a thought came across Chris's mind, “I could give you guys a lift down to the fairground and pick you all up later!”

“We'll, pick them up? I've got work to do here!” Added Anne.

Yet Harold knew that was what she was going to say and felt as if he should go with Chris. Then he didn't want to leave the other two alone. He hated these types of indecision. He hated being torn by loyalties. Howard opted to stick with the young party, after all hadn't he said so from the beginning.

“About seven then!” Pete smiled before adding, “I'll wait outside the shop.”

“No! We'll come and get you from the pub, that is where you are staying?” Chris was confident that is what had been said last night and yet doubted his brain this morning. It was cleared up by his wife.

“Of course he's staying at the pub! Rosie confirmed it this morn..” Anne stopped as she had just fallen into the gossip trap and revealed to the taller half of the foursome that she had been talking about him. Village gossipers he'll think of them now!

“Yes. I'm staying there until I find myself a nice little home to call my own.” Just like all things when dictated by time, it was now he had to leave, “If you would excuse me. I have to get on and see a few houses and” Pete had observed a few customers looking around and wondering where the staff was he continued, “I think you have a few agitated shoppers. I will call later and finalise the arrangements. Good day!”

“Oh my!” Anne yelled and had the pleasure of seeing Howard and her husband jump to it. She ushered her daughter to go with this catch to the door. Okay! So village talk will be rife, yet it made a change for it not to be Howard this time.

“Thank you for inviting Howard and myself!” Beth said again before he placed his leg over the large bike.

Peter motioned for her to come closer and saw her fidget with her conscience before edging nearer. Whispering he said, “It's a pleasure!” Pulling away and placing his helmet on. He waved her back before the beast was awakened, then smiling through his helmet and pulling another wave good buy, he throttled her up and left.

Beth watched the cycle go off and take a part of her heart with it. She stayed watching the blue streak until it was out of sight round the bend just past the village hall which was just past the public house. Though he was gone, there was a yearning that he'd be back and the excitement of having an evening of getting to know him better, provided Howard didn't get in first. Yet Howard had seemed reserved toward this man? It was probably due to Arnold being in hospital. Then she felt guilt. Howard had been through a lot lately and all she could do was think of Peter. Beth, you will have to make it up to Howard, after all, he was the first love of your life girl!

 

QUESTIONS

 

The day had worn on considerably and as the public house was getting a little more quiet Rosie decided to pull out a crossword and flick through it. It was as she was pondering over a four letter word that a dark shadow came and fell over the desk. Looking up she was met with the sight of one tall and very wide man. She swallowed deeply before she realised what she had done. No man had put fear into her like this man, “Wh, what may I get you Sir?”

The guy who was bald didn't smile as he asked his question, “I was wondering if you could tell me where I may find a lad on crutches?”

She wanted to laugh at the question that came from this menacing guy. It was like something out of a comedy sketch! Instead she swallowed again before reiterating the question, well part of it, “Crutches?”

“Yeah! A crippled man who walks around on crutches. Thought he lived round here, a friend of a..” He looked down at the card which had the name written in ink on it, “Arnold Riverman.”

Rosie clicked and now had the man, even though on reflection Harold had to be the only one, apart from old Reg. “Oh! Harold Muster! You'll find him at the local shop, just down the road.”

The tall built like a brick man nodded with appreciation and was just about to go when he turned and eyed her up, “I want something else!” He reached into his pocket and a square end could be seen.

Rosie felt the blood drain from her face as the menacing figure was doing this and yet still managed a, “W, what?” She had seen gangster movies before and remembered that divulging too much information often led in innocent characters getting bumped off!

“I'll have a couple of packets of dry roasted peanuts.”

She breathed a sigh of relief when a long oblong box came onto the counter with, when opened, a varied selection of coins.

The horn beeped twice and then one long one bellowed forth. “Why is he so slow at asking questions?” asked the driver as he sat impatiently. Then his question was answered by the large bouncer almost running out and taking the door frame with him as he came.

“Got the answer boss!”

Simon looked at him with peanuts in hand, “Looks like you had to bribe the info out of the landlord?”

The guy may be thick but not too thick to know what was going on, “I felt hungry.”

As the big guy squeezed into the front seat Simon asked, “Where?”

A blank expression washed over the bouncer's face, “Where what?”

The man sighed a big sigh before thumping the steering wheel, “Where is this mustard guy located you moron!”

“Oh! Down at the local shop.”

“Good! Then you can go shopping in there for more food to spill over my nice leather seats!” He gave the guy a sideways look and saw the big guy go fishing round for about a dozen peanuts which had missed his big fat face.

Putting his foot down, the car sped away towards the shop which was visible from the road. Pulling up on his right, Simon allowed the car the liberty of placing itself about four metres from the door. Turning the motor off he looked round at the girl, “It's your move.”

Jasmine didn't want to do this and yet had enjoyed watching the countryside through tinted windows. The day had been kind to her and now as she stepped out of the car she noted the various smells from the variety of plants. None of those she had in the town. She sniffed a few plants that were on sale on a homemade plant rack. Jasmine looked around her at this village and it smelt of freedom! Drinking in the views of the old thatched cottages and their plant life to the other houses and the petrol station, public house and church she decided to go on in before she too was beeped at by that ugly man. Simon was like a shadow on her spoiling her life like a cloudy day when one was supposed to be having a picnic.

This elegant walking lady stepped into the old looking shop and looked around at the mass of different items they had for sale. Amazing! Now focussing on the job at hand she looked for a man on crutches. He couldn't be seen. Just her luck it was his day off or he was on lunch break or something! It hadn't occurred to her that he may even be at the hospital if he had made up with the guy.

Anne looked up from serving Mrs Gent and saw through the glare of the sun belting through the door a woman, slender in form. She was wearing tight jeans and high heeled ankle boots with a red tee shit that in itself was also a little on the tight side. This woman set off alarm bells ringing in her head as she walked over to the counter where her daughter had her hands full, though her husband was making his way over.

“How may I help you miss?” Chris asked and felt a pair of dark eyes rest upon him. This girl was weird! Looked as if she was an alien or something!

“I was looking for a man called by the name of Howard?”

He narrowed his eyes and took a good look at what she was wearing, “Who wants him?”

Jasmine was no fool and knew all too well the look he was giving her! He was right to be suspicious as she was now going to confess, “I'm from the town just down Yonder. My boss wanted to pass a message on to him.”

“Where are you from exactly?”

The guy had narrowed his eyes further and if he did it anymore he probably wouldn't be able to see. “I'm from the local knocking shop or as some call it by it's club name ‘Night Light.' Though why that name I will never know or care to.”

The guy's eyes were wide open now! “Your are a..” He never got to finish his words for the lady from behind the post office counter had come rushing over and filled in the gap.

“Hooker! We don't serve your kind in here! Kindly leave.”

Jasmine addressed this small and very aggressive lady who wore a face like thunder, “I have only come here to pass on a message to Mr Muster!”

The small lady continued, “What business have you to come here and call on Howard? Now as I have already said, leave!” Then eyeing this mere slip of a girl she laid the gauntlet, “Or I will be forced to call the police!”

There was a gap of a few seconds before another voice could be heard coming into this, it was Beth, “As my mother asked, please, how do you know Howard?”

Jasmine eyed the girl and saw she had the best of her parents and warmed to her for showing her a little respect. Something she had lost from others, “I saw him with...” Another unfinished sentence of hers as a lower voice came up with!

“Arnie Rivermannnn. A, a, tttt, the frrrennnnch caffeee. J, jussst aaacross fr, from, wh, wh, where shheee wooorks.”

Spinning round Jasmine found the guy looking at her and for the first time she realised he was shorter than she was and his leg, well one of his legs dragged behind the other and he looked kind of, twisted. His brown hair looked as if it was fighting to stay in a parting and his expression was of curiosity mixed with surprise of her probably being here. Not waiting for another verbal assault Jasmine quickly got her lines out, “Mr Phillips and his son wish to convey their sympathy on account of a good friend of theirs, a mister Riverman getting mugged at the back of their premises. They wish to offer any help and support if required and offer their assurance that more vigil will be taken to look after their clients interests more fully in future.” She had gotten them all gob smacked and this final part of the sentence will see her slung out on her ear! “And wish Mr Howard a chance to come round and have a free drink on the house, as Mr Phillips wishes to extend his hospitality to all close friends of Mr Riverman.”

“Get out!” Anne screamed as her red face looked as if it was about to explode! If the village gossip line got hold of this, they would have the knives out and all would avoid this shop!

The man was a little more pleasant, “You'd best leave.”

Nodding with understanding Jasmine then turned and walked past the lame man who spoke, “D, diid, y, y, yoou. F, f, fiindd h, h, hiim?”

Stopping Jasmine stared at him and pulled a half smile before replying in one of the most simplistic words the English language, “Yes.”

“Thhannk, yoouu!”

The look of appreciation said it all and she pulled a smile, one that wasn't put on for the punters. It was one that made the muscles in her face want to do it. Smiling she walked elegantly away.

Outside it was a different story as the bosses' son stood up from leaning against the car door and moved over, “Go alright did it?”

Jasmine looked into the reflective mirror of his sunglasses and replied, “It went well for your company.”

The tone was cold as usual and yet the news of it all going to plan made Simon smile until he sat down on some of those dry roasted peanuts! “You are not eating in this car again!”

“Yes boss!” replied the bouncer who always did as he was told for he knew where the bread and butter came from.

All Simon said as the car pulled away was addressed to the bloke, “And clean the car out when you get back! I hate sitting in garbage.”

Jasmine cocked a half smile. Wasn't the house he lived in, one full of defiled things?

 

 

They had been dropped off by Chris and the horn honked a few times as it sped away on a mercy mission to the hospital along with Anne who had decided to come along at the last minute.

“He said he would meet us over by the candyfloss stand!”

Howard looked at his long term friend and knew this looked like love for a dead cert. The gaze of burning eagerness in her eyes even in the dusk gleamed like a cave full of diamonds. She clutched hold of his hand and pulled him along towards the meeting point.

It's always the same with fairgrounds! You had the smell of diesel wafting all over the place from the countless generators working overtime to please the fairground owners, as they did their best to attract you to their game stand or ride like a moth to the light. Even from this distance Howard could make out the various shouts from the owners as they tried their best to get you to have a go!

“Come on have a go! Three hoops and a prize if you loose!” Or, “Still some spaces left on the ride of doom! Go on have a thrill of a life time!” Or something like that.

“Here he is!” Beth shouted above the noise of the candyfloss stalls little diesel motor. She jumped up and down a little and waved frantically. The man could not fail to notice the girl waving at him and he in turn waved back before running over and kicking up the dry soil which had been caused by the wearing away of the grass over the past weeks activities. It was either dust or mud at this end of the week, another predictable part of the fairground set on common ground.

“Beth!” Then looking at the small bloke he acknowledged, “Howard.” Then turning his looks back to Elizabeth , Peter carried on, “Sorry I'm a little late. I decided to take the bus and it was the one of those ones that goes all round the houses. May be I should have come in the car after all.”

She had to think fast and get her mouth to not babble as it was feeling that it wanted to and was saved by Howard.

“Onnly, ju,ussst. G, g, gooot hhhere!”

Pete looked at the man! He hadn't realised that this guy had a speech impediment. That was why he probably said very little. “Good! Now I feel a little better!” Reaching out an arm towards this beauty he felt her reciprocate and clutch tightly onto his arm and now they walked like royalty through the fair.

Howard fell into a backwards step like a bridesmaid following the bride down the isle, all except it wasn't Chris who was leading her down the isle! Beth was arm in arm with this strange man who she had only met the day before! This rattled him as the stall holders turned in his mind from attracting the couple to play games, into a few people shouting their approval as the married couple walked back up the isle and out towards the entrance of the church where confetti came flying down showering blessings of fertility on the two. Was this a vision of the future? Howard hoped not and yet here he was, the forgotten man as he watched them go on the rides he had only dreamed of and had the indignity of being ignored in the arcades. It was just like he didn't exist! His sister was a sister no more, she had been lured into the spiders web and was caught. The final straw came when that Peter bought her some candy floss and failed to offer any to him. Howard would always buy Beth and friends some, it was always Howard's way and yet it seemed that it wasn't his. Or put simply, they just felt he was the millstone around their necks!

He decided to cut the evening short by saying, “I, I'mmm, go, gooiing. T, t, too. Waaallkk, inntoo. T, t, t, toown.”

Both stared at him and the final straw snapped in two when Beth said, “Okay! don't forget dad will be here for ten thrity!”

“I'll gettt, a, a, taaxiii.” He left them to their mating game and yet he didn't want to! Beth couldn't be in love? It was just infatuation he told himself and that the whole thing would blow out in a week, and yet he felt that things were again in his life going to take a turn for the worse!

The coldness of the grey dark room where his father sat, just staring at the picture in front of him. The room was once so full of colour and full of life! Now it was an empty memory of what was once the warmth and love of coming home from months away. The smell of her perfume and the anticipation of just seeing her after all this time. It was no more. The only picture he had was of her lying there so peaceful and so lifeless. If he could have traded places he would have pleaded to! Yet life was so short, so fragile and so cruel. Death was something he could never get used to and John Muster had seen enough of that in his time. Of all the people in his family he thought would have gone first over this past eight to ten years would have been his son and yet he survived and managed to put others in the grave before him! Would John be next? Today he wished he was. For today would be the worst day of his life! Especially as he had not gotten the chance to apologise for walking out on her.

Bitter tears flowed from his face as he clutched tightly hold of the picture of her looking so happy, before tragedy ensued. Yet as he cried he saw in the reflection of the dressing table's mirror, one child looking at him, watching him. Showing no remorse and no sign of the loss of his mother. He never spoke, he didn't do anything! Just stared. John felt the boy was possessed or something.

Turning sharply around he shouted, “Get out of here boy!” The boy just stared even more and so he hurled the only object in his hands and it sailed through the air the smash on the wall by the boy's face!

As the lad moved silently away John shouted, “It's all your fault! You killed her!”

Howard ran the best he could out of there with memories of the funeral raging in his mind like the thunder storm that ruined the day as the vicar did his best to try and give praise to the woman while shouting above the pouring rain and thunderous noise. Howard thought it was God mourning the death of a wonderful woman, like he did his own son when he died for mankind. The wake was full of people praising her and a few made mention like they do of his father's lack of support for Howard and his mother. That must have grated John up the wrong way. For his father had supported them financially and yet the biggest need a family required was of the emotional side. That was where most families slipped up in Howard's mind.

Love was greater than material needs. Love created a stable environment and yet lack of it brought the whole family down. If one was down and all others showed love it would help, yet if the one was to be unloving and selfish it was clear the family felt the detrimental value of this and suffered. Like Howard and his mother had suffered the effects of John's lack of loving guidance. He remembered his mother shouting at him down the phone and saying something similar to what he had just mentioned.

“What about love John? I love you and Howard loves you and yet you hide away from us and only visit for a weekend at a time. Where's the love in that? I don't want loads of money, I don't want diamonds and pearls! I want you! You can get a job locally, you know Jake has offered you a job in the new coal mine he's just opened up! No I don't want excuses, I just want you home with Howard and I!”

His father didn't listen and now his mother was dead and yet it was all his fault? It was nobody's fault his mother had told him and up till now he was being blamed for her death.

Howard walked out into the fields and walked and walked until there was no more fields, only a well cut massive lawn and a gigantic looking house in the distance. Climbing over the wooden fence the best he could he fell and landed with a bump! His grunts were of pain as he stood up and nursed the spine as it protested over the abuse it was getting again. The abuse was going to get worse for like his mother's funeral day the heavens opened and the grey clouds issued forth the rain, a cold rain and the daylight suffered from the bleakness of winter and more storm rains would follow the new year.

The house came closer into view and a few lights were on and yet it still appeared to be cold looking and uninviting. Still he kind of just stood there looking at it through the rain which soaked him, trying to wash him clean, Howard wished he could have his memory washed clean! Shivering he watched a big Rolls Royce come up the driveway shedding its warm beam towards the house and as if by magic the whole place seemed to come to life like a sleeping friendly giant in a fairy tale!

“Bitter storm this mom!” The driver added just to try and keep the brief conversation going.

“Yes. Looks like winter has arrived.” It was with sorrow, for the summer had been a particularly good one.

“Looks like Butterfield has remembered your umbrella this time.”

Yes, Butterfield was quite old and yet she didn't want him to retire, even though he often forgot things like umbrellas when the weather was like this. Still he was a very good friend and had been in the family for years.

As the car swung round to the entrance it's beams cast a warming glow over the gardens, the four acres of garden that surrounded this stone house. As lady Covington stepped out the driver noted a new statue, no it was a figure just standing out there. Winding down his window he raised his mistresses' attention “Mom! I think we have an impostor on our grounds!”

Lady Covington looked over to where the beams just touched the figure, “Put the full-beam on.” The driver complied and the bright beams of light caught the small shivering figure to hold it in their arms.

“Shall I call the police mom?” Asked Butterfield and was shocked to see his superior break away from the umbrella to walk swiftly towards the figure, “Ah? Mom! Do you think this is a wise course of action?”

Wise or not? Lady Covington went towards the figure and realised who it was when she came close and saw with her own eyes, “Howard!”

The figure came to Howard like his mother and wrapped a warm jacket over him and then he just collapsed into her arms.

“Butterfield! Call the doctor!” She was helped by a number of her staff to get hold of the boy into the dry and get those wet clothes off him.

“Mom, shall I call the boy's father?”

“Please do!” Lady Covington looked at this lad and wondered why he had come here this evening.

 

The doctor had said he was alright, would probably feel a little groggy, but apart from getting wet all was well. The boy had looked in shock! Was it down to him realising that his mother was gone, or was it something else? He woke and she sat by the bed and placed her hand on his head and began to stroke his hair.

“It's alright.” She spoke soothingly, “You are at my house and in one of my beds. I found you on our grounds. Why did you come here?”

He remembered, “Mmm,y f, fffather doesssn't w, w, w, aaaant mmmee.”

The look on this woman's face said it all and yet Howard had grown accustomed to not being wanted, like tonight.

 

Like in those days he wad walked and in a memory maze he came out of it to find himself in a street that looked familiar. it was now dark and the streets were filled with many creatures of the night. Howard felt uncomfortable here and yet he felt the strange notion to stay.

The cafe by day was now a club by night and many went in and out like bees to their hive. Opposite was the place his friend visited and probably to the right and down that alley way, was where he got beat up by those thugs. It was for the first time he realised that he could bump into them and end up in the same ward as Arnie!

Howard sat down at one of the empty tables and watched as one table of girls giggled while another table of lads gave them all the eye. One more table had two who were trying to eat each other alive which made him turn away and shift in his seat to not be reminded of earlier! Howard didn't want Beth to be doing the same to that Peter feller! What was it he had against the man again? Nothing, just a feeling of trouble. Something about his cleanness that didn't add up. No one was a pure as that! Not in these days.

“What can I get ya pal?” asked a waiter looking guy as he hovered over the table.

“A, a, coffeee!” The shock brought out the best words he had spoken for a while and yet this man still laughed at him.

“Don't serve coffee in the evenings! Only the hard stuff, or a few soft drinks which I must admit are a little on the warm side.”

“I'll leaavee ittt!” Howard replied and stood up.

“Suit yourself pal!” The waiter replied and walked off to another table in a huff.

Howard looked at his watch and realised that the last bus will be leaving at in about an hours time. Stepping across the road he took a look inside through the door and saw that the bar was full of people drinking and having a merry time with a few loose looking women walking about and as another door opened he caught a glimpse of the darker area of things.

“Are you going in?”

Howard was dwarfed by a very large man who was built like a brick!

“N, nooo!”

The guy smiled before adding, “Best get a move on then buddy before I evict you from my doorway!”

Howard got the hint and scurried along the best he could with his damaged frame of a body. He moved to the alleyway and took a slow walk through it and imagined where his friend had been attacked. The shadows played tricks on his mind and this in turn was playing tricks on his nervous system. It didn't help when he suddenly found himself turning round to a gate which opened and one person was coming through it!

The girl just stared at him for a few seconds before she realised who it was, “What brings you down here?” Jasmine asked as she lit her cigarette.

Howard blinked a little before he too realised it was this same girl who had visited the shop earlier. “I, I, c, c, caamme. T,oo...”

“To see where your friend got mugged!” She added onto this man's conversation as her cigarette wobbled in her mouth. Taking it out she stared at the smaller chap.

Howard felt on edge at the way her eyes even in the dark seemed to bore into his soul. He said instead, ”Youuuu, shoullldn't, ssssmmooke!”

She half smiled before deciding to give him a little insight, “You'd smoke if you had my job.” Then raising her free hand she spread it out and added, “Keeps your nerves calm when dealing with the clientele.” Taking another drag she thought a little more, “And may make you speak without stuttering!”

He swallowed hard and felt as if this girl should know why, “I, iii. H, h, aavee, aaa, speeechhh, immmpediment.”

“You don't say!” Then changing the subject Jasmine pointed over to the pile of rubbish by a wheelie bin and told him, “Your friend was lying over there when I found him. Face down. Didn't see who had clobbered him.” Changing the subject again she asked, “Sure you don't want a cigarette?”

Howard shook his head, it was faster than replying. Then decided to speak a few words excusing himself from her eyes, “Muust, g, goo!”

Jasmine saw him turn to leave and decided to add something, why she didn't know? Maybe she could trust this small man, “Your village is very pretty. Never seen it before!”

This puzzled him and Howard found a question, “Hooww, c, c, comme?”

Jasmine was beginning to follow this man's short wording to add in her brain; how come you have never visited his village as it is only a short distance away? The reply, “Not allowed out much. When allowed out I have to stay in the vicinity of the town.”

He frowned before asking the obvious, “Wh, whyy?”

“Because it is written in my contract. I have some time off tomorrow, if you are interested?”

Was this a joke? He wouldn't dream of being seen dead walking with a woman of her moral values!

“I have the whole afternoon off, from one onwards. I'll be out here.”

Howard shook his head in the negative, “Noo thhhankss.” And added, “I, I, gggooot, wh, whatt, I caammme f, f, f, oorr.”

Snubbing out the cigarette Jasmine snubbed him as she closed the gate and closed the door on any further possible conversation. Jasmine you were wrong about that guy! He's just like all the rest! Her footsteps echoed along the concrete flooring and sounded like her hollow heart. Void of any human love. Just an empty feeling, a feeling of being like a robot that just did it's job and was incapable of giving anything else.

The bus let him go and Howard entered via the back door to find the place was still alive of people and one man was sitting next to Beth in his place!

“Howard! Thought you had got lost or something!” Chris said as he stood up to let his son take the seat and observed the lines of tiredness on the boys face, “Take a seat and I'll fix you a malt drink!”

Beth looked over and said, “Did you have a nice time? Where did you go off to?”

Yet before he could answer this Peter put his oar in! “We had a great time and went on all the rides again after you went!”

Beth had already forgotten about her question as she added, “We would have gone on again after that, but Peter felt sick after woofing down one of those dodgy burgers!”

“Didn't want to be sick over innocent spectators watching the ride of doom!” He laughed and noted the lad smile a little. May be it was time to leave?

Anne noted the frostiness and wondered why? Then to her surprise Peter stood up, “Are you leaving?”

“Yes. Best not out stay my welcome!” He glanced at Howard and noted by the mans face that that was what he must have been thinking.

“When will you be back?” Anne asked and found the answer, “How about coming to dinner tomorrow afternoon!”

Beth's eyes lit up as she exclaimed, “Oh yes! Please say you'll come.”

Chris came in with Howard's hot malt drink and found himself on the edge of a conversation he'd missed, “Come where?”

Anne looked over, “I've invited young Mr Scott to lunchtime dinner, tomorrow, as it is Sunday.”

“Oh yes! We shall be back from fishing by eleven.”

“You all go fishing?”

Anne let out a little disapproval in her voice as she answered the man, “They all do! I stay at home on a Sunday and do the cleaning. Beth often goes with them.” A little hint in the right direction never did anyone harm.

Chris followed his wife's gaze and so after reading what she meant he felt compelled to add, “You are more than welcome to come along, though it is a very early start. Four.”

Peter looked at this family with their open arms and felt the need to give it a try, “Alright, best get home and prepare for getting here at four then. Thank you!”

Beth jumped up and down like a jack in the box after just being released from it's confinement, and all seemed elated. Howard though felt the clouds of doom wafting over him.

“Thank you all again for a wonderful evening!” Then he left.

Anne decided to turn her attention to Howard, “You were a little cold. Could have been more friendly!”

“Affteer, I, i, wasss leefft tttooo myseelllf, allll evvvennnning!” He hit back at her with, only to get another slap in the face.

“My daughter was out on a date with a very nice man. If you were not so wrapped up in yourself, you might realise that other people have lives to lead! You cannot always be the centre of the universe boy!”

“Hey! Steady on love.” Chris warned as he expected a reaction from Howard and yet the boy just sat there. It was his wife who turned on him like a tiger on the offensive!

“You have spoilt this boy who is not our own! Beth has had to compromise on everything! Just because the boy here doesn't like her choice in men does not mean she has to give him up! The lad is spoilt and will remain that way until he is cast out of here when he becomes twenty one!”

Then she was gone! Chris blinked and tried to make out the whole picture.

Howard just said, “I, I. Jussst do, don'tt, trussst h, h, himmm.”

Chris rubbed his eyes before sitting down to face the young man, “Howard. Just give the guy a break. He's new to the village and I dare say if he had a dubious past, it will come out in the wash. For now, just let the rest of the family handle this and trust me as loving parents, we have the experience to get to the bottom of things before anything damaging can arise. I know you love Beth and you are only looking out for her welfare, in which I commend you for. But it is hard for all of us when your sister, our daughter finds someone else. Heck I feel jealous! And yet I have to understand that one day she will marry and we will loose her attentions, for they will go to her new family. It is something that no parent really wants and yet have to know that one day they will face it. It normally comes first with puberty mixed with independence and friends. Then comes the boys, or girls as in your case. Yet I have been lucky with you both up until now. One day I will loose you both and my life will become more empty, a void in which I will be unable to fill I think.” Standing back up and tapping his boy on the shoulder he just whispered, “Please give the man a break at least for tomorrow. Do it for Beth and myself.”

As Chris walked off Howard noted he left Anne out of the equation. She never loved him and he felt she wanted them both out of the way. He would go when twenty one and Beth would be married off to anyone but him. Still, Howard would try and be sociable to this man, but only as he had set out to promise himself earlier, to do it for Elizabeth and Chris.

 

GONE FISHING!

 

That night he again woke to the sound of an owl screeching it's desire for food into the coldness of the dark. He flicked on his light and took a look out of the window. He often left his curtains open and on nights like this one, the moon shed it's fullness onto the ground letting the shimmering whiteness flood the area. Howard noted a fox run through the long garden and heading out towards the fields. Then as he backed away he noted his reflection from the glass and realised he was getting older. A far cry from the boy he used to be when his father was around.

 

“The boy is a curse to me! I can't look after him! I have to work to pay the mortgage over the house as well as find the money for the funeral!” His father shouted in the direction of the lady of the house as he paced up and down.

“And where do you work Mr Muster?”

“Out on the rigs and I have to spend a few months out solid.”

At least his tone had calmed enough for her to make a suggestion, “How about I give you some money to finance the house and find you a job around the local area?”

John gave her a look, a proud man's look, “No thanks, I ain't into charity and I feel hurt that my wife had to come here and beg.”

“She did not beg Mr Muster! She came to settle old regrets and I felt this to be a weight off my mind.” She now steered the conversation back onto the real concern here, “Your son is the issue here.”

John sat down, he had been so wound up by Howard coming here of all places. Yet, he could have ran to the police station. John rubbed his eyes and changed tone, “Look Lady Covington. Howard would not settle at the school, he has already been bullied. What I can do is sell the house and move further up north. The rigs are where the money is and I can do that for him. But for now an oilrig, or a two-bit bed sit would not keep a boy of his disabilities.”

She too sat down next to him and a solution could be found if she could get past this resistance to help, “Then, we place him in a private school. One of the best and educate him. In the years he is there he will be able to expand his mind and with your visits on holidays, Howard can come to know you and you will have ample time to sell the house and finance your lives together.”

John thought through those last words, “You would send my son to a private school?”

“It is the least I can do Mr Muster.”

He stood again and started pacing, “I, I, cannot accept this.”

“Why not? It is not charity! It is what I want to do to help a lad that has had to fight for a little happiness in his life. My husband if he had survived that horrific day would have been cut to the bone over those two boys and he would have wanted to help in anyway he could.” She paused at this point and fixed him with a firm stare, “Trust me! I have wanted to help you both for years. This is a way I can fulfil my husband's wishes and let his memory rest. Please let me do this for you and your son's benefit.”

Howard heard the words of agreement and knew his fate was sealed. A private schooling was for him.

 

Howard brought himself round to see that the mist had now wrapped itself around the trees giving them an out of focus look. The way it hung over the greyish looking damp fields gave the impression that it was a large ghost haunting the land, as if to remind the people of today, of some important matter which sadly this generation had forgotten.

The man had arrived early and was down stairs having a cup of coffee. Howard knew that Beth had not slept through the excitement, yet she was making a mistake over this man. Like the mist hovering over that large old oak an air of mystery hung over this guy. It was written in his eyes. He held a secret. Was Howard being paranoid? Was he letting his feelings about Beth cloud his view like the clouds of mist were obscuring his vision of the fields and their beauty?

Howard would give the man a try as he promised.

“Howard! Are you ready yet?” Chris shouted from the kitchen before realising that his wife was still in bed. Then a motion came from the steps and he prepared himself to apologise, when he noted it was the lad he had been shouting at! “Ready eh boy?”

The boy nodded and picked up the lunch things in the large hamper.

“I'll take those!” Chris said as he went to take them off the lad's hands but found Howard in a stubborn but helpful mood.

“Nooo, I'll. T, taaakee, th, th, themmm!”

“Okay. Pete and Beth are waiting outside. Told them too, otherwise Anne might wake from her lair and burn us with scorn for waking her up, like a dragon from it's cave!”

Howard laughed quietly before turning and walking into the woman herself and jumped nearly a metre!

“What was that about me?” She frowned.

“Oh, I was saying that I was just coming up to say goodbye and see you at twelve for lunch.”

“Well, saved you the trouble. See you both then.”

“Right ho!” Chris muttered before giving her a peck on the cheek. The mood Anne had gone to bed in this past night was still with her this morning.

Howard chose to move away and was halfway across the lounge when he heard!

“Aren't you going to say goodbye to me boy?”

He turned and placed a false smile before replying “Offff, c, coursse! G, g, goodbyee!” Then he hurried as fast as his body would take him before anything else came from the dragon's mouth!

Outside the two of them jumped when he came out and Howard thought they had been holding hands, or something. The guilt was ridden all over them.

“Morning brother!” Came her wobbling voice. So they had been doing something!

“Good morning Howard!” Peter offered his hand which Howard took briefly, his hands felt cold and yet clammy.

“Shall I load this in the back?” Elizabeth asked as she relieved Howard of the big picnic hamper.

Howard nodded and for a few seconds it was just this Peter and himself, yet like the call of the cavalry, Chris came to the rescue!

“Don't all just hang around here! Let's get going!” He launched himself into the drivers seat and turned the key, to find the old girl wasn't having another early start! He cocked his head out of the open drivers window, “Um, can anyone give us a push!”

The vehicle was pushed out into the road and once all had jumped in the car rolled fast enough for a jump start and after a few chugs of the cold engine, it like a man with fluid on his lungs, managed to cough it up and the engine was on it's way!

“Did you find anything yesterday?”

Peter looked up from the back and realised that Beth's father was addressing him, “Excuse me sir?”

“You know, any properties worth having?”

Peter nodded with understanding and while looking at this beautiful lady next to him he replied, “I'm waiting for something to come up in the village. Wouldn't want to live too far away from such an attractive..” He paused as he looked into her eyes before turning to face the mirrored reflection of her father, “Place!” He finished with and felt a squeeze of her hand upon his.

Chris smiled and felt warm to the heart, until he saw Howard cast a frown. Today was going to be one hard day! Howard was not going to play ball, no matter how much bribery could be placed down here.

 

The boat cast off and was out in the sea as the sun burnt it's hole through the fog and the beauty was there to be seen.

The line hadn't bitten yet, but Howard felt the bite of jealousy as Beth spent most of the time joking with lover boy and he was now putting his arm around her, telling her the classic story of the one that got away when he was a child with his father. It would have been a record breaker. Then, when Howard had tried to enter the conversation with his large catch of the other day, he was frowned at by her.

Now he sat alone. Chris was downstairs getting the coffee and Howard felt alone. Like he had when he came to that private school on the first day with Lady Covington.

 

“Pleased to see you again Lady Covington!” said a large man with a red face as he bounded up to take the lady's hand.

“Nice to see you again Headmaster Richards. I trust all is as good as always?”

The man laughed and as he did his large frame wobbled under his suit. Boy this man was fat! Howard thought as all eyes turned in his direction.

“Is this the boy you were telling me about?”

“It is he.” Lady Covington replied and turned to smile, those warm blue eyes rested upon him that Howard almost thought her to be motherly towards him.

The big guy frowned, “Umm, you know we don't really cater for disabled boys you know.”

“I am fully aware of that Mr Richards. All I ask is that you give him a good education. His disabilities are rather small in comparison to the advantages of his good imagination and his ability to learn. He will be a credit to your school and not a hindrance.”

The Headmaster stopped staring at the boy and went onto smile at this lady, “Of course he will. Let me show you the dorm he will be in.” Then glaring hard at Howard he added, “Follow me my boy!”

Howard remembered the smell of polished wood as they walked upon it along this rather old looking place with stone walls in areas mixed with newer buildings thrown in. The dorm was no more than a grand sized room with rows upon rows of beds all decked out in the same way. All had wardrobes and a small bedside cabinet with a lamp. The beds looked old and he swore they smelt musty. The house had three of these big rooms. They were shown round the house looking at the dining room, the large kitchens and finally the classrooms. Howard now found himself in front of a large class studying English.

“Class! Pay attention!” Mr Richards shouted as he came into the room and made the teacher start as they were in the process of all doing some quiet study. The Headmaster felt pride as the class stood up to attention. “I would like you all to welcome a new boy to our institute. This boy will be with us as we strive together hand in hand to make you all names in this world.” He stopped to catch his breath and to re-inflate that bulk to extra large proportions before adding, “This boy's name is Howard Muster and he will be joining your class as from today!” Then moving his silver rimmed glasses he eyed them all, “Just because he is slightly different in physic, I do not want you to treat him in a different manner. Everyone is equal here and there will be no class distinctions! Is that clear?”

“Yes Mister Richards!” The class shouted as all eyes fell upon Howard as they tried to see what was wrong with him as they had missed his presence at first, simply because the boy was dwarfed by this large shadow of a man.

“Welcome aboard Howard!” Said a lady in her twenties, very slim and had very mid-brown wavy hair which looked to be in danger of floating off her head. Her personality bounced liked her hair style as she took him by the hand to place him at one of the vacant desks. These desks were single ones and had a lift up wooden top and an old fashioned ink well in the right hand corner. This desk too smelt all musty and old like the building.

The Headmaster left with lady Covington and before closing the door she gave Howard a reassuring smile.

“Class! Carry on with your assignments.” The teacher shouted, watching all the eyes of the boys fall from her direction and back to their books. “We are in private reading of a literature masterpiece of our own choosing. They will be preparing an essay on it for later reading in class.” Looking at Howard she asked, “What books do you like to read?”

It was time for him to speak, yet he shook his shoulders instead. The lady smiled a warm smile before moving over and picking out a book from the rows at the back of the room. Coming back she handed him, ‘ Treasure Island '.

“I think you will find this story fascinating!” Looking at her watch she kindly reminded him, “We have half an hours reading time left. Best make a start.”

With her smile in his mind Howard opened the book at page one and began to read.

The peace and tranquillity of that half an hour was all the peace he found! Soon the peace was gone.

 

“Pull the freak out! Stretch his body over the bed!” Ordered one lad who was old enough to know better.

“Leeeaavve, m, m, meeee!” Howard shouted trying to get any of the other lads attention who might go out and tell the Headmaster of this treatment.

The kids were doing their best to hold onto this boy but he was doing an awfully good job of fighting them off, until the biggest lad who was ordering them came forward and punched Howard in the stomach.

Howard crumpled as pain shot into his stomach and he felt another sensation. Keeling over he was sick on the floor. Others in the dorm made a few noises of disapproval, yet Howard was in too much distress to do anything except curl up on the cold wooden floor.

“Disgusting animal! Don't worry I haven't finished with you yet. Your nights are going to be full of nightmares, until we get rid of you freak!”

“Mister Farley the new boy's just thrown up on the floor!” Shouted one of the smaller kids as on big slim teacher came in throwing a little light on the situation. As he walked over he reproved the boy, “Patrick! It is called in proper terms being sick. Kindly remember those words in future!”

“He just keeled over Sir! I came over to help him and found him ill.”

Mr Farley eyed the boy name Muster, before crouching down to see the lad in some distress, “Can you get up boy?”

Howard just wanted to lie there in the mess he was in, clutching his stomach and feeling the desire to cry. But he wouldn't let them see him cry.

“Peters, get the nurse. Tell her he must have eaten something funny.”

The tall boy walked leisurely away, just taking his time. Howard knew that from the floorboards at the end near the doorway creaked about thirty seconds after the boy had walked away.

“What's going on here Mr Farley?” Asked Miss Sands as she entered the boys dorm in her dressing gown and noted some of the boys sniggering at her.

“This boys been sick! I can't get him to stand up.”

She didn't like looking upon people who had been sick, Howard knew for he heard her swallow hard when she saw the mess and yet he gave her credit for being encouraging, “Howard, listen to me. I need you to place your arm around my neck and help me to take you to the medical room to get you cleaned up. Will you do this for me?”

Howard nodded and lifted up his arm to place it around her neck. It was then he was lifted up by the thin but strong woman and led out of there to a few sniggers.

He heard Mr Farley shout, “Let's pull together boys and get this mess cleaned up!”

The medical room was cold and hostile in feeling. May be it was to do with the fact that it was decked out in white apparatus and the floors and ceilings seemed to reflect the same cold effect. It was like sitting inside a large fridge! And talking about sitting, at least Howard could sit down now. The nurse was a long time coming.

Miss Sands cleaned up his face and looked into his eyes, “What happened?”

He held her gaze for a second or two before deciding to confess, “I was hittt, innn, t, t, ttheee stoooomach.”

“Who by?” This was Howard's first night in the dorm and already the trouble had started.

He didn't reply so she added the more forceful weight with her voice to reiterate the question, “Who by Howard?”

“T, t, taallisst b, b, booyy.”

“Alexander Dashwood” She whispered as she placed the cloth down. His parents pulled the strings on this place. Still this had to be reported.

“How is the boy?” asked Mr Farley as he peered through a gap in the door.

“Okay considering.”

Farley noted a look of anger and knew what was behind this and noted that Miss Sands was now brushing past him and off down the hall with a look of fire in her eyes! “Where are you going?”

“To see the Head on this one!”

“What shall I do with the lad?”

“Get him into his spare set of pyjamas and look after him.”

“Great! And my night off and all.” Looking back in the room at Howard he muttered, “Come on, lets get you into some fresh clothes.”

Headmaster Richards was up in his office doing some profound thinking when a heavy thud, not really a knock could be heard. Moving slowly up from his seat he opened the door to have one hornets nest land in his face!

“Alexander Dashwood has been picking on the new boy Howard!”

He blinked a couple of times whilst letting this information sink in. Before adding his reply, “So?”

Miss Sands spun round to glare at this red faced man, “So? How long are you going to let this bully get away with it?”

“The boy is not a bully Miss Sands!”

“How do you explain the fact that he hit Howard so hard in the stomach that the lad was sick?”

The dean looked at her and decided to adopt the sitting position as he explained a few details, “Look Miss Sands. The new boy is a cripple and one that should by all means be in a school that can deal with the disabled. He is going to be an object of hostility due to his disabilities.”

“But...”

“If I may be allowed to finish!” He raised his voice over hers and won, “If it wasn't for the persistence of Lady Covington that this boy..” He stopped while fumbling through the papers on his desk to find the name of the lad, “Ah, this boy Howard Muster to be here for his education, then I would have turned the application down flat. Besides the education he will get will stand him in good stead for the big wide world which he will hit in about five years time. A little bullying will strengthen the boy and help him to stand up for himself when he leaves our establishment.”

Miss Sands could not believe his attitude and yet should have done as the Dashwoods had got him the position here. “I don't agree with your philosophy Mr Richards. Yet I have to stand by it.”

“Good!” He smiled and gestured for her to leave but hit a snag.

“Yet I will report this incident and suggest that the boy Dashwood be punished!”

“You will do nothing of the sort my dear!” His eyes and body went cold at the thought, “The Dashwoods have been funding this school for many years and have contributed a great deal to the benefit of all. I have no intention of rubbing them up the wrong way by a few, what you call incidents!” Then smoothing out a few of his papers he said calmly, “Your job is on the line here. If I was to report this to the Dashwoods and they find out that it was you, I cannot interfere when thy ask for your removal. Think about how much damage that would do for your career my dear?”

Miss Sands thought this over before going down another alley of thought, “I will report this to Lady Covington then.”

This alleyway came to an abrupt ending! “I will take over this incident and do what I feel fit to do. Goodnight Miss Sands!” He stood up and showed her the door.

Miss Sands was not happy about this and yet she couldn't afford the loss of her position here and knew all too well that the school could not afford the loss of the Dashwood's money. Her hands were tied, unless she could find a way for Howard to be looked after. She would inform Howard of certain changes when she had made them. But until they could be put into practice, poor Howard would have to fend for himself!

 

“Hello Howard! I got you a coffee from below!” Smiled the man as he gestured for him to take it.

“Thhank yoouu!” Howard replied as he took the mug and went back to staring out to sea whilst thinking of some more depressing thoughts. It was as if his life had been one depressing thought after another.

Peter sat down on the deck, just below Howard who was sitting in a deck chair, “Fish are quiet today.”

Howard didn't really want to speak and yet remembered the promise he'd made. And felt as Miss Sands had felt about her position, that he like she had to go through with it and so anwered, “C, c,ann. B, bbeee, l,l, lllikkee, thiss, so, soommeeetimmess.”

“Chris told me you caught a big one the other day and you did the noble thing of letting it go back to the sea.”

“Yesss, seeammed, un, un, ffffaiirr. T, tooo, l, l, llleett hhimm, d, d, ddddiieee.”

“You did the right thing. I on the other hand would have probably been a little more mercenary in my actions. Yet on reflection of what you did, I think you have taught me a lesson.”

Howard looked at Peter and wondered how he could have taught this man a lesson? Then he felt that maybe this was a sucker punch to open him up a bit in order to win his approval on dating his sister. But the body language told him otherwise, that maybe, just maybe he was genuine?

“Beth was telling me how much of a help you have been and about the time you came round and she realised that you would be staying with them. She said she was proud to have a brother and now she is even more proud of you at the way you have turned out. She also said she has never come across a person who loves people as much as you do!”

Howard looked at the man and knew that he always thought the best of people and yet as to really love them? He didn't know that! Then again he had loved his friend Joey and really loved his mother and others. In a way he had been disappointed over Arnie and yet he loved the man in a way, after he had got over being annoyed at that incident. He loved Chris and of course he loved Elizabeth and would gladly lay down his life for her. Then as for loving those bullies? No! Yet he didn't hate them. So after churning the facts over, he felt that maybe what Beth had said was true!

Howard felt compelled to add, “B, beethh, loooveess, l, l, liifeee, mmmmorree, th, annn, meeee!”

Then he went onto to relate the look in her eyes, like a sparkle when freshly laid snow fell on the ground overnight and talking about snow! How she had come running into his bedroom at about seven in the morning.

“Howard wake up! Take a look out the window!” Elizabeth yanked open his curtains and brushed away some of the ice that had formed on the inside due to frozen condensation. As soon as her brother had joined her side she showed him the vision! “Snow! Have you ever seen anything quite as beautiful in your life? Did you know that no two snowflakes are the same and so we have to reason that no two snow falls are the same.” Then looking into his eyes she added, “Drink it in Howard! take in this vision and memorise it. Enjoy this moment.”

Howard had memorised the look on her face, as one pretty wide eyed girl drank in the beginnings of a new day. She loved all the seasons and loved life in the country! Howard remembered her dragging Chris out to build a snowman and how they had a snowball fight with Chris and Arnold. Of course the younger pair were allowed to win. Howard also remembered feeling his fingers go numb and how, when he was starting to thaw out, feeling the pain in them with Beth's mother's words of wisdom, they sat by the fire shivering!

“I told you both not to stay out there to long didn't I?” And how Beth had grinned setting Howard off as well.

In fact all of Howard's good times revolved around Beth. The many times they used to walk about the fields and how many times she had picked up a wild flower and told him what it was!

“Look Howard dandelion clocks!” Placing it up in front of his lips she made a request, “Blow it and release the hundreds of flying seeds into the air!”

Howard blew and watched the seeds take to flight. As they caught the gentle southerly wind, they looked like a flock of birds taking to flight and moving almost together, up and over the field on their journey to land and germinate.

Beth would often drag him though the fields of gold and get lost almost in the height of the wheat as it stood just waiting for the harvest. How they would walk miles in search of a glimpse of the sea on the hill and how they would enjoy just sitting in the spinney listening to the wildlife while eating sweets given to them from home! All these memories he related to Pete and the guy didn't interfere once, he just sat and listened, almost drinking it in just like Beth drank in the sun on this glorious day.

“Look alive Pete! You've got a catch!”

Pete heard Chris shout and sprang to life, running over to pull the beast in, only to find it being a mere tiddler. Looking at Howard he smiled, “Not worth keeping this little lad is it?”

Howard nodded in agreement to put the small lad back and watched as the man leant over and placed the fish back into the sea.

Peter gazed at Howard and added, “Who knows, in about ten years time you may catch him again and he'd be as big as the one you put back!”

Howard smiled and felt that maybe he had been wrong about Peter and yet that nagging feeling just wouldn't go away.

“Oh well, best head back to shore, there's a dinner waiting us!”

Chris's words settled on Howard, he felt hungry and then he remembered something!

“I have the whole afternoon off, from one onwards. I'll be out here.” She had said, the girl at that place. Why did he think of her? The eyes told him all he needed to remember. That look of loneliness and of hope. Hope in that she could befriend him, but why? He was a cripple of little value to this world! The hunger was gone, replaced by a feeling of anxiety, of trepidation of what could come.

“We'll soon be home and tucking into that juicy chicken!” Chris almost shouted as he helped his son pack away the rods before the off.

Howard looked at him and had decided, “I'mm. N, n, noott, c, c, coommming h, h, h, hoommee.”

The man recoiled like a shot from a gun! “But Anne, your mother has cooked enough for all of us?” Then he realised that it was probably Peter, so lowered his voice, “I thought you and Pete seemed to be getting along.”

“It'sss, n, n, noottt, th, th, thatt. Iiii, haaveee, to, s, seee, a, a, friennnnd!”

Chris allowed his frown to dissipate and was going to tell the boy that he would be seeing Arnold tonight. Then decided that they probably wanted a private discussion. So left it only to add, “Do you have enough money to get transport home?”

“Enougghh.”

Reaching into his pocket Chris pulled out a few notes and shoved them into the boys hands, “Here's a little more, don't tell mum!”

Placing the cash quickly into his pocket and smiling broadly before replying, Howard added, “I, wwwonn'tt.”

“Want to take us home?” Chris asked as he knew Howard to be one of the best captain's the sea had seen. He smiled inside when Howard jumped at the idea and took control of the vessel.

On the way home a larger vessel came past and as they did the captain waved to Howard, who returned the gesture.

“Would you look at that beast!” Chris exclaimed and whistled in admiration as he stood by Howard's side. “I bet you could sail across the Atlantic on just one tank full.

The boat was, or should he say yacht was one that had no sails like this vessel. It was strictly a diesel powered yacht, long and slender in design and had angled windows that were tinted. Laying out on the front was two females, sunbathing. “Verryyy, n, n, niccee!” Howard added wishing he could afford something like that.

So was Chris, “I tell you, if I ever come into money. I will buy us one of those beauties and sail round the world with our family.”

Howard could imagine Chris sailing like the captain of that vessel was with what Howard hoped was his family, then again the two ladies could be what is in the terms of the well off, to be described as gold diggers. Wanting him for his wealth, not his looks. Still it was a nice yacht and one that was to be admired!

 

Their own vessel came into port and docked at its usual berth, the one Chris had to pay a lot for. The entourage filed off and all seemed sad to leave Howard here and surprised, yet all seemed to appreciate his independence. After all in a short while he would be leaving them and moving on as was the agreement a number of years ago. Howard had been saving his money ever since he started working in the shop and seldom bought himself anything apart from the necessities. So his bank account would last him for a while after his twenty first birthday.

Today was a special day for her, a day off to do as she pleased, yet always watchful of the man that kept an eye on her. Not always the same man, as her boss had spies everywhere. Right now, downstairs a few more were being added to the list as the bosses son prepared to take over very shortly. Jasmine knew this as the old boy had often talked freely about it. It was a fear that ran through this establishment. Once the old boy was gone, it left Simon in charge and he would not think twice of letting any of the girls go. She trembled with fear at what might come. For now the days were tolerable here, though hindered by the lack of freedom given. You were a slave to society, a society that no matter how many years elapsed would still see the desire to dirty their washing in houses such as this.

“Oh you can have your high moral thoughts!” Jasmine told her reflection in the mirror, “But you allowed yourself to end up here.” She washed her face and looked at the woman beyond the make up that was plastered on her face and realised that living this life was not doing her youthful looks any good. Where once stood a naive innocent girl, was now replaced by a tired looking lady of the night. No need for dark mascara as the black rings from tiredness made the need for make-up a thing of the past. She went to reach for a cigarette and then decided to ignore the craving. Instead Jasmine grabbed a towel and dried her face. Refusing to look into the cloudy mirror any further for fear of what she may find, she went on over to put on a top, a top she never wore while entertaining guests. The clothes Jasmine was putting on today were pure, untouched by any perverts hands.

Taking a quick look at the clock on the wall which nestled up to the dark stains of mould which came through the exterior wall, it remind her of the cold nights here with the cracked window that allowed the rain to seep through on stormy nights. Maybe this year the nicotine might form a strong enough seal to stop the water? Then again pigs might fly! Like the pigs that will fly this afternoon. That lad ain't going to show sister! Jasmines voice called out from inside her mind. The clock told her it was nearly one o'clock. Tidying her long jet-black hair and placing it into a ponytail she took another cursory look at her reflection and left, just remembering to pick up her handbag in the process.

Downstairs she passed the office where a discussion was going on between the son, Simon and a guy who looked to be in his early twenties. She only noticed because she was yelled at!

“Hey Jasmine, where are you going?”

“Out!” Came her reply.

Simon smiled, he was used to her attitude, “Where to?”

“Round town, that's all.”

“Don't go to far, otherwise I might think you are leaving town.”

She smiled a sarcastic smile in return, “I didn't think you cared!”

He lost his cocky smile, “I don't! But father might get upset. Just be careful girl, be very careful.”

Jasmine walked out leaving the two lads to their discussion. She felt chilled by those cold words of warning.

“Why do you want the job? Er...” Simon looked down at the scribbled piece of paper given him by the barman, “Jack Collins.”

Jack thought back to the night he came home after a evening out with the boys. After a successful afternoon in beating a certain freak up!

“Where have you been Jack?” His bird asked him as she had just finished breast feeding their latest kid, Molly.

“After a successful visit to an old pal of mine, the lads decided to go for a few drinks down town!” He remembered feeling a little light headed and blowing a few quid here and there.

His girl looked at him as she winded Molly, “Jack, I need a good father for our children! James is almost two now and so far he only sees his father when he comes home merry from running around town like a boy!”

“Hey Baby! I ain't no child.”

“No?” She sighed as she walked round the room now.

“What do you want me to do?”

Stopping she made her reply, “Get a job! We need money to feed our family! Not use the social money for boozing and running around with your old school mates.”

“But baby doll they are my mates!”

“Sometimes you act as if you love them more than me! Jack I need your support here, with your family. It's time you took responsibility for your family! Give the children a father they can be proud of.”

He stood up and shouted, “They are proud of me! I'm a good father!”

She handed him their child, “Okay, put a nappy on her then!”

Jack took the child and knew he had lost this battle of arguments though he would go down defiantly, “Okay baby doll I will!” Before asking, “Er, how do you do that?”

She sighed, “If you spent more time at home with the first child you'd know how to look after the second one.”

He watched her take his daughter upstairs in their rented home and decided to take a beer from the fridge, only to find there wasn't any. In fact there was little food and he remembered why. He'd spent the money on drink down the pub earlier. How was he going to explain that one away? He'd have to get a job and make Velvet proud of him like she used to be when they were courting.

Looking at his future boss he answered, “I need a steady job to keep my family.”

“Are you good at fighting?”

“Me and my mates are one of the best gangs round here sir.” Jack threw the ‘sir' bit in to gain him a little credit and got it thrown back.

“Just call me boss.” Then eyeing the thin man up and down he asked, “Did you and your group have anything to do with that bashed up man round the back of my club?”

Jack felt a little flushed and had to come clean, “Er, yeah. You see he had threatened one of my gang and I felt the need to protect him. If I had known he was a member then I...”

He was stopped short buy the guy raising his hand, “Do you use a baseball bat for all your fighting?”

“Nah! Only in emergencies, why?”

Simon smiled, “Dam good job you did with that. Keep it around, it might come in handy stopping bar fights we sometimes get in here.”

Jack thought the last sentence through and found the answer, “You mean I get the job?”

“Yes, start tomorrow. No, in fact you can start today by watching that girl which just went out. I don't trust her and would require someone of your ability to keep an eye on her this afternoon, until she is back in the den tonight.”

“Right sir, um boss!” Then a question came over his mind, “What about the others?”

“What others?”

“My gang. Can they join?”

“The offer is for you and your gang of six Mr Collins. They can start tomorrow. Now I suggest you get a move on and keep a track on that girl for me.”

“Yes Boss!” Jack replied before smiling, for Velvet and the kids will be proud of their dad getting a job and a job where he can still be with his gang of mates and do a job they liked best! Hurting people.

 

Jasmine walked to the gate and out into the alleyway where she nervously looked over at that area where the man Arnold Riverman had been beaten up. She still expected to see the man lying there face down, but all that lay there now was a fresh bag of rubbish, not the dozen of before. This bag had been ripped open by a cat and a few chicken bones were sitting out on the path along with some tissues of some kind, could be kitchen towel in hind sight. All this was really to serve as a distraction while she waited for a gentleman who wouldn't be seen dead in this area. A man who she had had a chance meeting with the other night. Looking at her watch she noted that it was now about five past.

“He's not going to show girl!” Jasmine muttered to herself, then decided that this day was too fine to miss wasting it on searching for those flying pigs! Closing the gate she walked towards the end of the alleyway that would lead her out to the main road which had the front of the house and the coffee shop. Maybe she would treat herself to one of those double cappuccinos that this establishment did so well. When turning the corner she almost bumped into a smaller man hurrying in the opposite direction! “Pardon me!” She reproved and heard his laboured reply.

“Sooorrry, f, f, fooor, beeeeinggg, l, l, aatee!” Howard apologised.

So pigs do fly! Jasmine blinked at him for a few seconds before adding with disbelief, “You're here to see me right?”

He looked up into those dark eyes and nodded a yes to save the embarrassment of having to speak again and to hide the thoughts creeping in that the other night was just a sympathy request in his direction, that was on the spur of the moment thing.

A smile wafted across Jasmines face, a smile so big it felt as if it was going to envelop her whole face! It's hard to speak when you just want to smile. “Where shall we go?”

Howard shrugged his shoulders before daring to speak again, “I ddoonn't, kn, knoww? Havvvenn'tt, thhhougght, th, thisss th, throuuugh.”

So he had come on the spur of the moment, a last thought. Still he was here and that's what counted. “Well, I don't want to hang around here where everyone knows who I am!” It was now looking around her that she noted one of Simon's henchmen gazing her way, “Come on! Let's head into town and have a look at what's left of the Sunday market.”

They were off to the market which was down the hill more in the heart of the town. Where it felt more pure somehow. Jasmine hated this place! Once when she had come here for the first time all was new and everything looked great! But living in a place soon changes your view on things. Throw away those rose tinted glasses and take a good look in detail at the place your planning to move to was her advice. Shame life couldn't be lived out as one big holiday.

“I hate this town!”

Howard jumped high! For so far no words had been exchanged, apart from agreeing to walk down the hill to this market. Now words had to be found, “Youu, d, doo?”

Looking at him with eyes of fire she repeated the statement adding a few more words, “Yeah, I hate this place! Then again I'd hate every place if I had to live in it long enough I reckon!”

Such a broad sweeping statement Howard thought before asking, “W, whyy, d, donnn't...”

She was reading his words in advance, “Just pack your bags and leave? That was the question wasn't it?” She saw him nod and felt a bit of guilt at jumping the gun with him. Be more patient girl! “I can't! Bound to contract with my boss and cannot leave if I wanted to!” Then added as an after thought, “Sorry!”

“Sorrrrry a, abbboouttt wwwwhhaaat?”

“Sorry about jumping the gun when you ask questions.”

Howard saw the sincerity in her eyes and noted that she wasn't wearing any make-up. A truly beautiful woman never needs make-up! And she didn't need any. “N, noo, m, m, akkeeuuppp?”

Frowning at the man for noticing, Jasmine added guiltily, “I, er, I don't like to put make-up on when I'm not working. Must look awful!”

Howard stopped walking at this point and gave her a deep look and wanted to smile but held his face in a poker like condition. “I, I, thiink! Y, y, ouuu. Dooonn't, neeedd, an, anyyy!” Then smiled.

Jasmine looked at him and realised this to be a compliment and went all shy. Not like her to be shy of anyone! “Come on I'll buy you a drink!” They walked to a cafe by the shore which was the usual wooden fronted type that had little space inside for anyone to sit, for all the top quality plastic chairs were all outside. Must really kill the trade on wet days!

She noted Howard sit down very slowly and noted that he winced a bit. “Does it hurt all of the time?”

“Yessss.”

“How did it happen? Was it a birth defect?”

The past was as painful as his body and to dwell on it was all he did these days. Yet this woman was asking and it would be wrong to not kill a little time in telling her a bit about his past. So he touched on the bit about how his friend Joey Masterson and he played that day when it was turned upside down by a drunken man in a Rolls Royce. Though he left the last piece of his story out. He wished not to inform this girl of his best friend's death.

“Do you still miss him?”

“Yeess! I, I, stillll, misss, h, himm.” He replied as his right hand fiddled with the plastic blue silk flower in a dirty sand blasted glass vase.

“I'll get the drinks in.” Jasmine felt the small man going to protest so compromised by a small barter, “You can get me one another time.”

Howard watched the slender lady stand up and noted that she was wearing blue jeans, a pair of flat boots, suede, light brown and a dark coloured sleeveless top. No jewellery and as already discussed, no make-up. She looked totally different from the girl that stepped out as an entertainer, all dressed in leather and low cut tops with lashings of make-up and long earrings. Her hair was also tied in a pony tail, all neat. Not waving around almost looking like a raging fire as it did the night he met her. Howard saw her turn and looked hurriedly down at the table.

“Sorry, forgot to ask you what you wanted. Hope you don't mind a cappuccino?”

Howard nodded that he didn't mind, yet it felt weird to have someone he didn't really know buy him a drink, yet alone having a person near his age wanting to talk to him? Most spurned him, all except Elizabeth . She had accepted him from day one and now it seemed she too was beginning to spurn him for this knight in shining armour with his blue trusty steed of a motorcycle.

“What you thinking about?”

He jerked himself from his brooding, “Ohh, n, noothinng.”

“Come on! I know a far away look when I see one. What is it?”

“J, jussst, a, a, g, giirll. I, I, knoowww.”

“What the blonde one in the store you mean?” The look this man gave her told Jasmine that she had hit the bulls eye! “You love her?”

“Sheee, is, d, daattinng, a, maaann. W, wiitth, aaaa m, m, m, oootttercycle.”

Jasmine thought this through as her brain tried to decipher what a moootttercycle was. Now understanding it to not be a cow with an engine but a blue bike, she felt pressed to deduce, “And you don't like the man, because he has encamped round your property?”

Howard watched her take a sip and saw her flinch a little from either two things, one it was very hot under the froth, or two, it was rather bitter in taste. If it was bitter, then it well spelt out how he felt over Beth. “Noott, my, my, propeerty. Sheee, iiisss m, my, sisster.” Howard decided to keep on the same subject.

“Oh, brotherly love and concern eh?”

“Noottt, re, really. I'mm, kiinnd offf, aadoopted.”

“So, you love her then, like I said from the start.”

There was no getting round it, he loved Beth and said quietly, “yesss.”

“Why don't you tell her, get it out in the open?”

This girl was full of suggestions and questions he thought about and had to confess the truth she was overlooking, “I'mm, a, aaa, diisssablled, m, maann. Shhhee, iiss, per, perfeccct. Shhhee, w, wooulld, nnnoottt, thhiink, offf, meeee.”

Jasmine raised her eyebrows at him and had to confess herself, “Heck, if I was her I'd jump at the chance! Not too many decent men left you know, and anyway I see no defect in you. Me on the other hand.”

If it was a friend building course Howard felt he should have said something reassuring and yet just chose to take a sip from his cappuccino. And making the same mistake as this girl, by taking too much and feeling the pain of the burn. It was just like the pain of the fact that this lady had touched the pain of his breaking heart. Beth had been his possession and now a two bit man with all the looks of a film star was going to take her away! Yet there was nothing he could do about it, unless this impostor slipped up somewhere, somehow. The chances of that were very remote. The guy was perfect, with a perfect past. There was no fault in his make up and no disabilities to look at. Howard had to face it! His heart was going to witness another heartbreak. He should have been used to it by now and yet he wasn't, somehow his heart still yearned for a belief that the natural way for a heart was to love forever and never see bad things and yet the world ran contrary to this.

“I did that!”

“Whhat?” Again Howard was dragged back to the present and saved from his brooding.

“I took too bigger a sip and burnt the roof of my mouth and my tongue. Hurts like hell don't it?”

Howard looked at her and saw the corner of her mouth curl as there seemed to be a laugh getting ready to be let loose like a tempest. He too at this point saw the funny side of burning your mouth and began to giggle. Then both found themselves giggling, then laughing quite noisily as on lookers wondered what both of them found to be funny!

Later they found themselves on the beach watching the sun make its way down towards the sea. They talked little at all, just did what Howard often did and that was drink the day in and forget about problems, just enjoy the moment of peace. Listening to the sea move the waves into the shore where there would be a crackling sound as it hit the rocks, seaweed and sand before going back. The smell of the salt tickled the senses and the breeze that was cool refreshed the soul.